30 MARCH 2009
boy went to raffles town club for conferences while i rot at jurong point before meeting him there. bought a few stuff, for him and er gui (: wahaha. met him for dinner at bukit timah plaza pizza hut. saw jasmine [previously at clementi as a server]. am so glad to see her again! shopping at cold storage was great at king albert's park. felt so happy (: but he poked me hard ): haha. sad hor, ebi fry bullied me ): tried the 6 piece chicken munchees. lols. didnt expect it to be 2 chicken fillet, 2 pieces of nuggets and 2 mc wings. lame. anyway, today boy looked especially charming (: but of course, he never style his hair, he looks charming too (:

i thought i will end my day, 30th march 2009, with happiness. but, i was wrong. you can say i am sensitive. but why must my sis comment about so many things? little people [in fact, only eh, andreances people know] knew my fetish for Kenny G's songs. maybe it's due to influence of my bro and sis since young. in fact, it flows in the blood. i felt so relieved everytime i listened to his songs.. i stopped listening like few years back.. thought no one will appreciate it, until he came into my life.. i start to listen to Kenny G's songs again. but recently, the fever for it is serious. very serious. my sis and people around me, can feel how much i love this man.. but, she actually warn me not to be too crazy. it was so beautiful until she poke the bubble of love. lols. haha. anyway, sort of argued with her. i feel so suffocated and even my parents also side me. not because i am the youngest. but if you are aware of my situation, you would have felt the same way. doesnt matter anyway. i am tired of her comments. i felt pain in my heart because i never knew that my sister looked down on me so much.. after so many years, she still feel that i am useless in many aspects. it hurts. but i will be strong for the sake of myself.. (:

back to the man.. perhaps, i found out that the things we like are so similar? he realised that we love window shopping so much. our hands will always be itchy and we have so much to talk (: loves. felt a bit sad though. starting full time on wednesday. will be spending less time with him. i really feel so not used to it. listening to Kenny G's song or 再说一次我爱你，突然好想你 makes me think of him even more. especially 再说一次我爱你 because a few times i sang with him, he always sing this song.

miss him so much.. ): i wanted to message him when i argued with my sister.. but it was late.. i didnt want to disturb his sleep. thanks for being there always and your concern. a thank you is merely two words. i know i have to love him, cherish him in order to show him how much i care and how grateful i felt towards him. you are not any guy on the street but my special one. i never wanna let you go. i really never felt this way before.. i already wasted half a year to avoid you, the love. i dont want to regret someday for not telling you how i feel. i am glad i made the right decision. and you make me wake up from the dream which will never come true.. you brought me to reality which is never a dream with. the tears you make me flow now, is happiness of tears. because you made me so touched, with your heart.. i love you (:

okay lah okay lah. i shall stop being mushy for now. and i meant it.. learnt not to lie to myself again by holding on to a relationship which is never felt any love.. i will never commit the same mistake again.