melberry symphony of miss angie

2011-09-04T05:22:00.001+08:00

dear all,

i have moved to

mymelberrysymphony.wordpress.com

thanks!

lost

2011-08-21T05:09:00.002+08:00

it's been so long since i've blogged.. almost forgot the web address of my blog.. this blog had been with me for so long.. of course not when i had this gmail account.. had been blogging for 9 years already.. was thinking if i should just switch to wordpress. haha.. blogger is good enough for me actually.. but.. who knows.. i started doing cards.. homemade cards.. started the web at wordpress.. i guess the website gonna be up soon.. cards are building up.. just hope to have the businesses.. so i can build more portfolio :) i had been having sleepless nights lately.. almost living like a vampire.. steal a bit of time to write this entry before i leave singapore.. not a big deal.. just less than a day.. but actually, i dont feel happy.. because i have many loads in my mind currently.. well.. i dont like to lead this kind of life.. maybe i should move back awhile.. i need to clear my mind.. need to focus.. i know only my home is my comfort zone be it the quarrels, the shoutings.. what am i thinking of man? i am such an unfilial daughter.. hais. i need to stay strong.. i need to prove the particular bunch of people who had looked down on him wrong.. hais..

i need to start looking for part time le.. but i dont know where to start.. so lost..

fuck my life..

2011-06-25T23:09:00.003+08:00

how can i accept such opinions whereby it isn't my fault at one fact.. the fact that i am not the boss, everyone knows that it's the bosses' decision.. it's not that i dont try to convince my bosses but if they had the final say, how do i go about forcing them to accept my proposed name list? it upsets me when people say "you should feedback to them that whoever whoever whoever can get this and that." talk is cheap.. but if you are so good at it, go convince the boss.. i am not the kind of person who is disrespectful to my bosses.. so, i dont disobey it.. though i disagree, but this is not my business.. provided i am the boss, i have my say.. so much effort alone.. i am not asking for appreciation.. but it seems that i am being blame more than being thanked.. games concept being changed, prize name list changed.. two person saying different thing.. what you guys want from me.. do i sit around and do nothing when people are criticising so much? i am not the kind of person who can let it go in and out of my ear so easily.. i can at a limit.. but this is way too much.. i cant take it.. you all can blame me.. but why should i accept this as an opinion whereby i am not at the fault? IT IS NOT OPINION.. it is a form of like criticism! FUCK MY LIFE..

i hate every single of you! including you! i dont want anymore criticisms.. yet you made me more upset now.. you ask me to let the words go in on my left ear, go out from my right ear.. if you think it is so easy, then you do it on your own! and I AM FUCKING TIRED OF THIS LIFE... I JUST WANT A PLACE CALL HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS IT SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a relaxing june

2011-06-20T01:08:00.002+08:00

well, it's been a month since i've blogged. i guess it's gonna be blogging per month for me.. anyway, not much people will read.. so why bother.. i should head to bed now but i just need somewhere to relieve the inner me.. feel really so upset.. before a decision is made, we should think of the consequences.. sometimes, my feelings are really neglected.. for one fact, sometimes i ask myself if it will be appreciated for things i've done.. it's not that i want anything back, but all i want is people not to take me for granted.. before asking for more, before blaming me.. have you ever thought that i was tired..

i cant leave up to expectations. so i rather no one have expectations in me..

delayed my resignation. gonna happen in august anyway. just agree to help out one more month just to earn enough income instead of finding part times. not gonna be free again..

with love, to NUS

2011-05-18T03:50:00.002+08:00

when it comes to the love and warmth nature in humans, that's what i experienced here.. yes, i am leaving this job in coming june.. somehow my resignation had been approved. well, i need not elaborate further on my resignation.. but definitely i am moving towards another dream. this is the first job i've gotten way too emotional.. almost gave in and withdraw my resignation.. but my head tells me firmly, NO. my resignation had been heard by so many people that i was asked to stay.. but my principle in life, happy and simple.. i just cant take it and see no reason to be humble on the fact of being accused.. i cant act as nothing had happened..

of course, the people i had known there, everyone.. especially the aunties, all are like my godmothers, some of my crew took really good care of me.. though they cant help me emotionally and on paperwork, at least they take care of my health.. my godmothers, ivy, pohgeok, betty, herly, agnes, shamffah, susan.. i appreciate the times u all nag, show concern about me.. and u guys add so much fun to my life when i work morning. i have no reason not to laugh and smile.. fairuz, norehan, raj, hayaty, thanks to u guys for being so understanding on my role as a payroll manager and not making life difficult for me when it comes to the hours being rated.. not forgetting, santi, indah, my two adorable babies who are leaving.. i will miss u all dearly.. those students, u guys really make me angry and frown.. but u all are just like my children.. haha.. two more, mdm foo, my dear grandmother who is always so sweet, and shuba. shuba, i truly hope your husband will get well soon.. and i am really touched by things you've done for me.. i remember when i just came, we were like loggerheads.. i thought, it's gonna be a bad start. but to my astonishment, it goes differently.. out of all, you are really the most understanding in my situation.. i am truly touched..

in overall, though i frown, i become so strict, so fierce there, i really do appreciate all of your hardwork.. i wish i could continue to fight for all of your worries, your requests.. but.. i have to really leave.. for my own good.. i never regret fighting for your welfare, your every single cent of money.. even how people say i am nice to bully by crew, i dont care.. it's not that i am nice to bully.. but i prioritise this word.. WELFARE.. if i dont take care of u guys.. who will..

enough of mcd.. it feels a bit sad because i gave my best in these 9 months.. i fulfilled another of my dream.. and i attained a glory for NUS team, for myself.. most impressive student title, is not for me.. but TO LET THOSE WHO LOOKED DOWN AT NUS, look.. NUS is not as LOUSY as you all perceived.. i have total faith in everyone.. they are the best in my eyes, efficient, STRONGER, BETTER, FASTER.. with love..

2011-05-03T05:06:00.002+08:00

oh dear. just realised i havent been blogging for the whole of APRIL. am i that busy? well :( i have so much to say but look at the time now.. i should catch some sleep actually.. work? havent been smooth. oh should i say, i officially tender my resignation? well, dont say i always job hop. but i always plan my steps carefully and it's time i call it a stop.. it had been rather unhappy for me.. i gave up because i dont want to give false hope.. i am very happy that at least i achieved academically and in performance wise i caught up at a fair pace.. at least, i tried.. i've decided not to convert part time too.. because i was accused.. and though it was cleared up today, seriously, it's fucked up. off i go :) my last day would be on 26th June.. :) counting down towards freedom..

2011-03-27T01:09:00.002+08:00

i nearly missed out a March post.. the month started out great with a chalet with asmc mates.. there were some arguments after that.. it was fast.. actually, it happened just 3 weeks ago but i felt as if i havent met them for so long.. life had been downtracked for me.. very down.. with all the things i am facing.. to near resignation... to breaking down into tears.. but it's truly sad that you found out that you have no one to turn to because everyone is busy with their own life.. and even the one i loved the most cant figure out.. it was the first time i felt so lost, so helpless.. nothing cheers me up.. worst ever in my life.. but now i am here alone typing all these out with tears dripping down.. when was the last time you read my blog? i think this blog doesnt exist to you anymore..

february.

2011-02-24T01:57:00.002+08:00

february is gonna end in like less than a week. what's february like? definitely an exciting month not suitable for work.. and it's gonna continue because i am taking leave during march. chinese new year wasnt much fun.. work bound.. what's worse is i got my shift verified during cny day 3. i went for class and i guess it was the climax of the month.. i got so happy and haywired when i saw so many faces.. i went crazy with norh and shadiq.. full of laughters.. i miss those days like now.. norh, i never thought that i could chat so much with you.. thanks for ur hugs and for giving me the concern.. i was extremely lost and though i still never get out of it, i know that what you say is for my own good.

the best gift i received is probably the award i got in class.. maybe some may not recognise the effort, but never mind.. i had never expect the award too.. but getting the award means greater stress.. just like what ming soon had gone through.. all people around me got very happy for me except me, myself, not feeling that great.. dont know why..

went to JB during graduation with norh, huifen, shadiq, mingsoon, summer, mark and wati.. it was crazy and spontaneous.. such a pity papabear pulled out from the outing.. we went for movies at city square, the rites.. lol.. sat with huifen and summer and 3 of us are timid to the max.. lol.. ming soon scare me and i jumped..

dinner near the place where we sang karaoke.. drink and dance inside the room.. the room turned into a club and it's like we are clubbing.. lol. back to reality, no motivation.. just like what papabear says, the flame of passion got extingushed.. hais..

am looking forward to next week.. it's 2nd anniversary of us, tuesday would be the chalet.. gonna also welcome the birthday of da gui and papa.. :) what's more.. cheers.. i should make some decisions..

2011-02-03T00:43:00.002+08:00

just realised it had been so long since i blogged.. it doesnt matter anyway.. because i know not many people are reading.. it's rabbit year already.. how times flies.. start of february.. i need to find some excitement.. it's getting boring.. i need to get my work done.. well, decided to have a movie date with adelyn and ying.. it gets so sad because everytime when i have got spare money, i will ended up with nothing.. with so many things to pay.. the electrical bills, the reunion dinner and expenses.. it's a lonely new year eve.. i feel quite upset actually.. feel like crying.. i just want myself to be happy........

2010

2011-01-02T01:37:00.003+08:00

2010 ended, time to reflect on major events i had during that year.. well, it's a painful year for me =x i remember i started my 2010 day 1, first moment with him at yew tee point food court.. it was very simple dinner with him.. i was still with cold storage then.. final rebonding of the year, super love it :D and i dyed my hair..

got a very big surprise during valentine's day.. one of my wish came true.. that is his family reunion.. march was a very painful month for me.. lost my wallet with 1.3k cash in it, all my card, all my assets gone.. i was super upset.. :(

april was a relaxing month for me.. went to pulau redang.. super relaxing, super fun.. but also where i made a decision to leave cold storage.. Zzz.. may to july wasnt that eventful.. well, it was preparation and being too paranoid about the interview with mac.. it was a miracle.. i passed and it brought me to where i am now..

it seems that there's nothing much to update on the later part of the year because i seem to be too engrossed with work.. haha.. it's about advancing.. and hardwork.. of course on my way, i do encounter problems.. even to the extent of nearly losing a relationship near to 2 years.. it was nothing to be elaborated.. but for sure i know, he seem to be irreplaceable in my heart.. everytime, i thought, it wasnt so hard to give up.. but then, everytime, it proved me wrong.. guys who came by, can tell me how they look at relationship.. but i am just so not interested, think that all are bullshits.. and what he can give me, no one else could.. i am glad.. everything was fine on the first day of 2011..

i am taking over new task this year.. how will it be? i am lazy to upload photos.. had my crew and PMO outing.. not fun uh..

off to do my work.. gonna cut my hair in 2 days time.. with loads of love, i miss you..

2010-12-18T20:04:00.002+08:00

what do i want now? 2010 is ending. it seems that my life has a turning point. it shouldnt have came.. and i know if i make this decision, i am turning back into the same life back then.. i dont want.. or should i choose to give up all? i dont know.. i only know all had gone.. it seems everything is gonna be beyond salvaging..

:(

2010-12-07T22:57:00.002+08:00

it's almost 11pm. he's not back yet.. it feel so sad because we were apart for no reason.. lol.. actually, it's because he have to accompany his mum to wedding dinner and it only allow two person.. so here i am.. today was in extremely bad mood.. or should i say these few days? well.. crew incentive program messed up my life all the time.. everyone was not on the same frequency.. and now i have to do it all over again.. then i have to undergo the stress of taking over payroll.. i should learn fast.. i am going BB next week for a day.. next week is also management meeting.. can i not go BB? it sucks to be in a place where i know nothing especially the system is so new..

you will be going away for almost a week.. i hate this part.. hais.. i am sad.. i will be alone just when i needed you most.. :(

new specs.. but i still not used to it.. my problem or what? relax angie.. you only wore it for 10mins till now..

do you still read this blog? :( i was so sad today... zZz.. grumpy.. this is not me..

2010-12-03T19:33:00.002+08:00

it's been so long since i've blogged. i didnt know i havent been blogging for the whole nov. i am supposed to be less engaged in work after i join this company. but seems not.. having mixed feelings for the past months.. even up to now.. i just dont feel that things are going the right way.. is this what i want? i still have so many plans yet to achieve.. next year, i wanna start my blog shop.. but my creativity is not ready.. hais.. may have to push back again.. i feel like getting out of F&B.. some job which pays me at a price which i want.. in the past i am contented with the pay i have as long as i enjoy the job.. but now, i am looking at the monetary wise.. who have i become? maybe my financial burden is increasing..

this job sucks in a way, i am given so many things to do, even occupied my off days.. i am so pissed off.. but it's okay.. since i am changing boss soon.. i am not hoping for a better life.. but at least a boss who knows welfare..

my dream is to manage a business.. recently have got an impulse to rent the canteen stall at shuqun primary school.. but not very realistic i guess. how big can i make it? now, the common goal with baby boy would be to have a concrete basic for his parent's business.. it's a very good step in the menu.. but i guess there's still many steps to take..

undergo loads of stress for the past 2 weeks.. more and more during this month.. because i will be attached to bukit batok for a day.. i would be like, can i manage? hais.. just went to do a new specs today.. and i am going to get my daily soon.. maybe by january?

2010-10-24T13:33:00.002+08:00

many people are curious of my job, of my fabulous job.. there's a reason why i dont say it out in public.. comments like, "what? how come? waste of talent?", "huh? why there? wah lao...", "siao.." will flood in.. it had flood in. some had encouraged me that it was my dream job and i shouldnt bother.. like i said, dream job may not be perfect for me.. i am hanging around.. i am sad to say i am still lost in my career path.. entering this organisation and things happening at home made myself woke up from the fact that F&B is low paid, needs a lot of commitment.. my concern now is my training, my sense of belongingness and my health.. i am not up to it anymore.. i suffer from fainting spells ever since i started.. so bad.. bad till my nose bleed.. and now my gastric.. i wonder.. if i really get out of this, i am getting out of F&B for good. provided i start my own business.. maybe it's coming to an end of my 1 year contract of not entering F&B with kopitiam next week.. i had left kopitiam for almost a year..

the transition to management level sucks if anyone of u know.. it wasnt glamorous to be a manager.. it's not easy work if u all remember.. and being said by family member about my job changing isnt good either.. it means i just couldnt make up my mind.. wake up angie voon.. to get out of F&B or stay..

2010-10-20T22:08:00.003+08:00

22nd year of my life started.. didnt start out as good as how i wanted.. had been really down on my luck.. my skin developed very bad rashes on the finger.. did i say it looks really gross? my dear samsung preston up the lorry.. i just got a new phone today.. thanks to the sudden change of shift today.. i cried everyday since 16th october without fail.. i lost all my contacts..

actually, i do love my nokia x6 though it's nothing to i phone.. but who cares.. i just dont like a super common phone.. well.. new phone down.. hopefully i will get my dear specs soon.. i need it.. what happened to me? i recently got very serious water retention.. i look bloated on photos.. i actually have slimed down.. what happened? i would like to know too..

thanks to all who have helped to celebrate my birthday :)

did i just say i gave up? yes.. i am intending to if you realised..

2010-10-15T23:20:00.002+08:00

i am in a fucking bad mood just now.. i just cant seem to get empathy from people around me.. i am having my birthday soon.. why must everyone spoil my fucking mood? have anyone really show the concern to me? (i know have.. lol.. i know who they are) but those who reprimand me.. fuck it. i dont care how vulgar it is, i fucking hate it.. whatever it is.. appreciate those who are trying to celebrate with me.. you guys make me feel touched.. but those whom i rejected.. i am sorry.. my 2 days are really packed.. can i just have a relaxing weekend? perhaps no.. i can foresee all stress now.. i am really going for classes next month.. yes.. i am going to embark new journey..

fuck

2010-10-12T12:42:00.002+08:00

a big thank you.. my trust had been misused once again.. why are you so damn irresponsible? how can you be so selfish? i land myself into trouble because of you.. damn.. i hate my off days to be spoilt.. it's really fucking pissing me off.. i just want to have a great weekend this week!

2010-10-12T02:51:00.002+08:00

when can i really have a relaxing day? seems that work has been occupying most of my days.. maybe i will need a relaxing trip.. nicholas suggest a taiwan trip next year.. perhaps.. i should go with him if possible.. i really want a great escape.. somehow i look forward to christmas.. and starting a new year.. home is chaotic.. big things gonna happen.. i really cant take my mind off that matter.. it's bothering me.. chemicals are killing my skin.. it's really itchy..it's painful.. :( what a way to end my 21st year of my life.. it simply sucks..

recently, got an urge to blog about something.. regarding my friend.. really feel sorry for him.. he may be in wrong.. but i dont think the girlfriend is absolutely right too.. why didnt you tell people it's him who ended the relationship? well.. face..

anyway, if there are somebody who goes to the extent of reading my blog here other than stalking my facebook and life.. well, c'mon.. no longer friends already.. dont need to be so kpo. one day we will die.. so, no need to be so concern about my life.. :) i dont welcome you here anyway..

work sucks to the max.. well.. thanks man.. i dont think you deserve my respect if you dont act like an adult..

october..

2010-10-05T02:34:00.002+08:00

really tired though today's activity is lesser.. 1st time during a normal working day i am away from peak operation.. haha.. today's meeting lasted 5 hours.. stress.. given so much task to do.. honeymoon period is gonna be over next month. i will kena a lot overnight shift. i think it's quite unfair.. just because i am new and it's the best period to have shift training? i thought i am supposed to have a balance life? i have a family too.. i have a boyfriend too.. i have a life too..

whatever.. i am online now to complete some work.. so that i dont have to go back on wednesday and waste my off day.. well.. thursday :) i am going to concorde hotel's spices cafe to have buffet with him.. advanced birthday treat from him.. kind of excited.. except one fact my hand is injured. got cuts and my hand is infected.. my shoulder was like strained.. well.. i should turn in soon.. i am seriously tired and lacking of sleep..

have to complete my incentive mechanisms for my staff by this week.. hais.. think i am being used.. if you all think i am so free to do you guys a favor.. i am not okay..

bought chocolates for my closing staff today.. like i said, making others happy is like making myself happy.. they worked so hard.. been hard on them.. so.. just a little motivation for them.. to show at least i appreciate.. :) october started out not too good again.. well.. whatever.. :)

2010-09-26T18:58:00.002+08:00

i have a lot of thoughts in my mind.. and i am penning it down so i can let my 2 avid readers, ying and yun know.. i am not in my right state of my mind.. i had been crying for e past 2 hours.. i have no idea why.. i tend to cry to myself at home, in the bathroom. to stop myself from crying, i slap myself.. i do.. my head is spinning right now.. i cant breathe.. it's controlling me..

during these half a year, my mind had been torturing me.. my heart is torturing even more.. i struggled so much emotionally and mentally.. but i couldnt find someone to understand and accompany me through.. maybe i needed someone who can be there 24/7.. you see, i am just behaving like a kid.. a kid's mentality.. what am i doing.. what am i thinking?

my sister told me after we were at NUH.. we saw many cases like mine.. it's just that i still know how to control and i am not yet admitted to ward 12.. i was down with depression that time but i rejected all sorts of help.. people believe that i am strong enough.. but no one sees a fact that without strengths and encourages, how can i move on with all those courage? my memory is failing me.. and sis adviced me not to be so depressed at times.. but.. i have a thinking.. i rather have dementia.. i rather not remember.. i rather.. i vanish..

i gave myself 3 weeks.. 3 weeks in exact, i will be 22nd.. i will make a final decision of my life.. that's what i share with a friend.. he asked what makes me hold on to a r/s.. i shared with him.. if you used your time to find someone who can be a boyfriend, a soulmate, a buddy, a best friend or even a lifelong partner.. if you had been through so much with him.. how can you let go so easily? if only the past stays on..

2010-09-25T20:37:00.002+08:00

cleaning up my mobile photos. finally uploaded some photos which are supposed to be up on july.. it's gonna be month end again.. almost 2 months there.. work load increased.. i am gonna overcome it.. having mixed feeling still.. :( someone please help me..

:(

2010-09-15T17:31:00.005+08:00

maybe i will never find what i want again.. i just hate this world.. =) i am very disappointed with a friend.. a friend whom i know for a period.. jealously and him makes our friendship soured again. how many times must we lose this friendship? seriously, this is the last.. i am not going to salvage this friendship. good bye. because you dont deserve my care.. simple.. you dont appreciate, i am going to take it back all..

it seems that dad's condition is not getting any better.. i feel quite upset.. there's nothing i can do.. mum is also frustrated.. hais.. i am caught in between so many things.. work? maybe sucks a little.. i almost felt nothing for everything.. even kept so much things to myself.. this month planned quite a number of gathering.. tomorrow i am going to meet up juliana, quek and chenghwee.. but before that i am going back to workplace.. great.. please, no disturbance during my next week off days..

heartfelt words

2010-09-03T00:28:00.003+08:00

如果你看到一个人，有心痛的感觉。。。你会怎样应付呢？从没在这里用中文诉说自己的感觉。心里其实很不开心，很无奈，很不平衡，很厌倦这种生活，很不喜欢这种对待。。。这么近，那么远。。。哪里有彩虹告诉我。能不能把我的愿望还给我？为什么天那么安静？所有的云都跑到我这里。也许时间是一种解药。也是我现在正服下的毒药。。。

我好喜欢蒲公英的约定这首歌。。。不知道为什么。或许曾经它是那么的贴切。我也许表面坚强了很多。。。但我的内心韧然的害怕，孤独，自卑。因为勇气，我才能走下去。心中的恨，或许我不恨她，只是讨厌她。我昨天说的，"THF, i hate you for everything.." 我不是开玩笑。心中的结，永远都结不开。。。我不恨人。我也不恨她。但我很不喜欢这种不公平，无奈的感觉。沉默，是因为麻木了。。。

叶伟康，你已经是过去了。。。不要再进入我的人生，我的脑海。。。

:( unhappy august

2010-08-31T19:40:00.004+08:00

dad hospitalised for almost 2 weeks already.. still undergoing checks and observations.. checked against my own symptoms.. i dont rule out the possibility of ending up like my dad.. i had been having memory loss and difficulty in recalling things.. i had been through depression.. had even tried to cut myself.. had thrown my fist on the wall.. all these.. my family had no single idea.. they only know there was a period where i keep crying non stop, i sleep in the day and i refused to go out for a month.. to a lot of people, my ability in learning and performing is still well.. but i was the only person who is aware that actually it is not.. well, forget about it.. i dont wish to think about it..

completed a month of work there.. my feelings? mixed.. some cultures there i simply detest.. well, what's rest day.. work and just work.. my rest day is pretty stagnant.. running errands basically.. had my eyebrow trimmed yesterday.. guess no one noticed =x cos i always trim it myself.. anyway, doesnt matter.. recently i got to know something again.. this time round.. i gave myself a break from it.. because i am numb already.. and i know where i stand..

had got so much to say.. i am just not ready to commit to anything.. this is what i only know last week.. i thought i was ready.. but my mind told me not yet.. feel uneasy.. feel sad.. i felt so lonely.. days doesnt seem bright anymore..

enough of these craps.. i shall update on my "wishlist". haha. i am in a dilemma.. if i am going to get a refurbished i touch, my phone need not be a very good one.. cos i touch has got all i want.. and i can play my sims 3! haha. seems to be a better deal.. conclusion: i need not get a samsung galaxy s.. wahaha.. i will need a new pair of spectacles.. i will not get contact lens in such hurry.. because i am going to get my hair rebond somewhere end of this year or in january! because very simple.. i cant tahan my curled fringe.. so, on the list currently, i touch, new phone (with plan), spectacles and rebond hair!

wrap up in august.. had been a challenging month for me.. gotten so many burnts on hand.. neglected month also :( sad.. hais.. what will september be like? hmm..

2010-08-21T23:06:00.002+08:00

while he was watching tv, steal a bit of time to blog a little.. recently.. i made him very unhappy.. i felt this way.. maybe i felt too defensive.. i grew strong feelings between love and hate.. i began to make him feel very uneasy.. became too work focused again.. maybe i hurt him again.. when he was playing games, i was alone. when i was playing games.. he was alone.. i am sorry boy.. though i know you no longer read this.. maybe you would one day? it's gonna be his birthday soon.. starting his new journey again.. hope everything will be well for him.. that's all.. hais... T.T

2010-08-21T15:13:00.002+08:00

“那幸福的笑容，是我所带不出的。为什么在那些回忆里我却看到那些幸福快乐的样子？可惜照片里的人不是我。”

:( get well soon

2010-08-21T00:45:00.002+08:00

:) hi everyone. long time since i blogged. had been lazy since i started work there. work had been stressful and some sort of enjoyable. politics are inevitable for sure.. actually blogging now with mixed feeling.. this month had been again an emotional struggle month for me.. my dad was hospitalised.. shall not go in detailed.. but hearing him drenched in rain, shivering and seeing cuts on his hands caused by those plants really hurt me.. how can i not love my dad? he raised me up for 22 years.. gave me pocket money.. most importantly, the love.. he may be flirtatious, did things letting my mum down by being unfaithful.. but he's my father.. how can i hate him.. i cant bear to.. fear was in me when he was sick for the past months.. i know he didnt want to agitate mum too.. but i just cant helped to raise my voice sometimes just to stop them.. it really saddens me.. i fell sick.. and he was hospitalised.. hope everything will be fine.. i dont ask for much but him to recover.. i cant afford to lose anyone.. it's not that i cant take it into stride.. but the pain of losing my loved ones is unbearable..

can anyone understands? i feel defensive in so many things.. i feel so vexed.. i feel very upset.. i felt like nothing.. i felt so unfilial to raise my voice at him everytime.. dad.. actually i love you and mum equally.. if you know.. :( i just want to help you celebrate your upcoming birthday.. get well and i will bring you to a nice restaurant to eat.. that's my pact for you.. please.. get well :(

with love.. anticipation

2010-07-25T17:53:00.003+08:00

am starting work in a week's time~ a new challenge, a new environment, a new start, new people.. but that's what i should know when i decided to leave my previous job.. well, no big deal.. coming week is an eventful week for me.. am meeting ashley and winnie up on tuesday! well, it's been a year since i saw ashley.. loads of catching up to be done! too bad he cant join :( hais.. monday, wednesday is the run errand day.. got to do something important tomorrow! must not forget! it's going to be small gathering on thursday at his house! having a BBQ party and it's the first time i am hosting a BBQ party.. actually serves 2 purposes.. shall not reveal it first.. it's a small gathering BBQ.. guests on the list will be green tea jing hui, hua zai zhen hua and partner vayen.. of course, including mr shawn yeo.. haha.. hais.. someone has to spoil it.. gaolin rei cant make it :(

anyway, i am a guy in their eyes.. except for mr shawn yeo who treats me like a woman.. haha. the menu for thursday is sumptuous!

i should make good use of this remaining holiday for me!

2010-07-17T16:47:00.002+08:00

hais. i thought i secured the job. but i've yet. i was told that whether i got the job or not depends on HR? the job evaluation was great.. but if they are evaluating based on my answers and not performance.. i am truly disappointed.. if i failed.. i think i am going out of F&B.. perhaps office job is much better.. hais..

starting tomorrow

2010-07-14T19:00:00.003+08:00

tomorrow i am going for my job evaluation! like finally! received a call early morning and yes! sort of work tomorrow after resting for so long! oh dear. i realised i gain back all my weight before i work at cold storage. damn. i am gonna slim down again! actually feeling very nervous. because it's a brand new environment. though it's a place i like.. dots. my shift is mid shift. hoho~ maybe get to update someday about my job! looking forward.. jiayou!

dream job!

2010-07-13T19:01:00.003+08:00

i've gotten my dream job (though it's of no big deal to a lot of people). but i am like hanging halfway through. that's crap. they have yet to get back to me on which outlet i am attached to. hope they get to me soon :( i dread waiting. broke the news to huawei. lol. he SUPER SHOCKED ahh.. he had no idea why i got this job.. he feels that i can get a much better job than in F&B! -.- i can see he feels like strangling me.. lol.. havent been having updates. my dream job from my wishlist is off already. :D super excited. though sounds scary to me because of what rina told me. by the way, rina is a STAR in suntec mac. havent seen her for a long time and of course, winnie.. so happy to see her. gave her the 21st birthday gift. before that i went for interview. it went quite smooth.. share the news with a lot of people until it went low batt within 4 hours. -.-

hanged out at suntec for past days. except yesterday was a date with him.. it was eating and movies.. watched despicable me. (sorry ying) the story line sucks. too common. except that the look-like-potato thing is cute.. haha. went to hotpot culture for dinner. my focus wasnt on the service.. but the two "princesses" at the next table.. my point here is, since you girls can afford those credit cards, then go somewhere posh. dont come to hotpot culture and throw your faces :)

through weeks of resting, obviously cooking skills better lah :D yesterday cooked porridge with potato and peanut. it taste marvellous :D never thought it will be that good. miss those days in kitchen..

i still wanna say at the end of this post. I HOPE THEY CALL ME REAL SOON!

the first and last

2010-07-13T15:23:00.003+08:00

to the brother who used to be my 开心果. this is gonna be the first and also the last post for you. it's affinity who brought us together as friends and also affinity had created wonderful memories between us. from a complaint to your store, to where we are now, friends.. it's somehow wonderful because if i had never ever waited for someone to knock off almost everyday, i wouldnt have known you and of course other people there. like the name i used to give you, you never failed to make a smile on my face and it used to be really sweet. it's somehow also a pity that we cant be together due to so many reasons.. when you told me i was unfair to you, i decided to pen this down specially for you.. maybe that time, you came at the right time, gave me the right feeling.. i admit i had once like you but it always felt like a fling. nothing else.. i know you tried changing for me too but what i want is someone whom i can share my life with..

the appearance of my current beau had somehow affect our friendship adversely.. it's not that i didnt give us any chance.. i gave ourselves a few.. it's just that we never grab hold of it.. to you, i may be wishy-washy that time, i didn't give that relationship up for you but him.. we cannot deny that during that period, it felt like a fling or rather i consider as flirting? to be frank, i dread this kind of relationship if you had felt it that time.. it is not that i keep on pushing you to other girls but i rather you find someone else who is suitable for you, who is not attached.. i trust that you are sensible enough to think.. if i were to be with you, i guess it will hurt both of us. because i know it's not true feelings.. but a feel of impulse.. i am penning this down not because i want anything back.. but just a platonic friendship to be salvaged..

i am grateful that we still stay as very good friends.. and not like other guys, you still talk to me like a very good friend.. i am sorry that during that period of time i had to give up in contacting you because i really dont want any unnecessary troubles.. we didnt meet up for almost a year already. and few days back, the meeting up was really making me worry.. but you didnt make me feel uneasy. you had been a very good brother to me and i am thankful for it. thanks for everything.. including your blessings too. i hope you find one soon :)

plans

2010-07-08T16:35:00.003+08:00

who dont wish to further their studies? actually.. i wanted to learn so many things.. i actually have got thoughts in pursuing a degree in pharmaceutical management / psychology.. i know it's a waste of not pursuing a culinary / hospitality related degree.. but to me, F&B industry is not on having a degree or not.. it's the experience which counts.. if i didnt pursue the degree, i said i will study at dowed.. to be a certified wedding planner.. so many things how to learn?! haha. i dont have the financial ability.. so, i am gonna go for a more advanced course on make up. at least in the future i can be a freelance make up artiste.. well.. enough about these.. interview is arriving.. not really very well-prepared.. but i hope i can speak up you see.. wish me all the best :D

didnt start out good today.. extremely upset because wasnt treated like this before.. it feels like a fucking maid or a toy.. perhaps.. i've long ago given up much hope.

god.. please help me get through this interview and let me get employed.. then i will love to be attached to own store.. be a trainee manager first.. then 2nd assistant.. then advance to 1st assistant.. then restaurant manager within 5 years.. if you think it's so easy, it's not.. PLEASE let me get in >_<" i wanna buy a lot of things.. haha.

updates on my plan.. before my 22nd birthday, maybe i will redo my hair.. yah.. rebond it. if not wait till end of year.. then i will dye it :D during september, i will change my phone :D i think i wont sell my samsung preston. cos quite chui.. provided people wants it? haha. i swear i am not gonna get a white phone again.. for the fact my phone always fell down.. i think i gonna visit the mona & remy soon... find opportunities for online shop. yes.. i am still doing it.. any ideas? i dont think selling the clothings are damn feasible.. provided i decide to head down to bkk.. shall see. priority is my interview!

am meeting winnie on saturday! yay! hope it's good news on saturday!

shadows

2010-07-03T14:58:00.006+08:00

first day of july wasnt that good perhaps? hais. all my books were nearly sold without my permission. damn fuck. my professional chef, my library books.. i cant imagine one day i come home, with all my books gone. my mum is beside me telling me all about my dad.. which is something i didnt want to hear at all.. that explains why i am blogging here.. it's damn depressing hearing all about him because it only shows how it worsens. i really dont know what will happen if my dad really sold everything away. i think i will leave home and cry.. :( how to flare up to someone who is sick and maybe doesnt know what he is doing? sometimes it just hurt so much when he asked questions and i felt so irritated. interrogating a criminal sometimes.. and the very last thing i want to see is sending him to IMH for treatment.. everytime they quarrel, it just hurts so much.. i will cry.. all these, i had been going through since he got laid off.. been months..

had been working on that book.. no much progress.. because it's the part on the really unhappy days.. and i cant take it.. because it was really unhappy, it was the darkest days of my life and relationship.. where everything came crashing down.. and it had affected me when i was resting at a later part at starbucks with ying..

i was like hypnotized and i went into a really melancholy world.. where i saw him inside.. it seems that the relationship is breaking down.. i felt really tired.. normally within half an hour, i will be awake. but somehow, the whole incident took 2 hours.. i couldnt wake up at all and it goes too extreme.. i forced myself to wake up and immediately, i told ying about it.. i can still hear what's going on in my surrounding.. but i just couldnt wake up.. after waking up, my head hurts to the max..

interview in just one week! i am so nervous about it.. just saw the advertisement about the open doors.. it makes me feel so excited.. cant wait to pursue the career in.. i hope there's good news for me.. hope to start this month :D

it's bestie's WEDDING SOLEMNIZATION NEXT WEEK!

30 days of june

2010-06-30T07:23:00.002+08:00

wanted to take down the picture of the beautiful sunrise. but i was too late =x it's only 10 minutes and i actually didnt take the beautiful egg yolk down. i am supposed to do a lot of things! but have yet to do so! i wish i get into mac mac! please bless me okay? i promise to get well-prepared. if not at least 80%? =3 i cant sleep again. alamak. perhaps work can heal me :p end of june. what did i do for june? basically, a month where i get so sick.. where i struggled so much emotionally.. next month is gonna be a difficult month again. =(

saturday was quite good? finally met up with friends i've not met for quite some time.. perhaps it was fate.. let 3 of my friends see my restless look. i was at woodlands and genhao, joshua suddenly met me up. because we are just short distance away. it was starbucks and kbox cck. then ying decide to join us :) end the day meeting him for a dinner.

how about sunday? met up with joshua in late evening at starbucks. well.. you know what's the plus point having your friends? you can be yourself and no matter how unglam you are, they wont care :p I SLEPT IN STARBUCKS. ohmygod. and starbucks nearly poisoned me with expired orange juice =x AGAIN, i ended the day having dinner with him. this time round, cooked for him because poor boy is sick :(

hmm, everyone at home is sick. and staying at home is getting on my nerves. so sad. :( didnt get to go bottle tree park with him. he was still sick.. hmm, maybe next time? haha. i shall work hard on the book.. because he found out i am still writing :p wanted to give him a surprise one.. zZz.

those getting GST credits, enjoy :p

for you and not anyone else!

2010-06-26T08:05:00.001+08:00

in two days time, it's counts up to 16th month together. yesterday, we had fun talking about how we get together and even times when we just met. since it's more than a year, taking this opportunity during this break for me to actually do a write up for him before i devote myself in work again. it's been great knowing you for almost 2 years.

we actually engaged in long conversations through just one subject; COOKING. it's amazing how this had brought the affinity between us. i never thought that i will be with someone who shares the same interest as me. in short, i never imagine / thought i will have a chef as my boyfriend. haha. it is just so cool you know? this is what i thought when i first met him. because it's REALLY COOL TO MEET SOMEONE WHO IS INTO COOKING IN KBOX.

silly boy. he said the first time i reprimanded him was when he actually add soda to my coke whereby i asked for water + coke. haha. because i like diluted coke :D (i didnt mean it okay. back then i was just being a bit too fierce :p)

i have to say sorry to my heart. because i had been deceiving myself for months.. perhaps fate brought us back together after he left kbox? just a forwarded message during CNY last year, the long conversations with him continue. we finally met up with our bunch of cliques and i began to enjoy hanging out with him since then. he makes me smile, makes me laugh. yeah. i know, people says, "it's part of courtship". true enough! but he's still doing it now..

i know a lot of my friends had doubts in us being together for long because it was seen as an impulsive decision by me. i did not commit it out of impulse.. but i was brave enough to face this and not hide it anymore.. because we make a big circle and in the end met at the same point :p and i am sure.. my friends can see i am much happier ever since i am with him..

quarrels are inevitable.. no matter how similar we are, there are still quite a number of differences in views etc. i have said before that quarrels actually leaves scars in relationship. true. but i learnt it differently now. that quarreling is the time where the relationship needs attention, reflection.

work used to be and might still be the biggest hindrance in us. because 1) he works in kitchen. 2) i work in F&B line. 3) i can be too committed to work that i stay up till 3am in the company. especially hua zai, thanks.. because you helped us a lot, gave advices, accompanied us during those time. and poor hua zai, being reprimanded by me sometimes :p

YES. known for being an emo kid. well.. friends.. i am not in the worst situation among the world people.. but i am definitely having the worst time in my 22years of life till now. so, i seek understanding from friends.. do not scold me for being emo.. because you all dont know what is happening.. i made a deal with him.. i will be happier with my life.

which relationship stays in honeymoon period forever? maybe a minor. though some things are no longer the same.. like we no longer text each other much.. but what i realised after the last argument was, the effort of accompanying me almost every single days of my life, sharing his life with me and cracking jokes to make me laugh are enough..

my dear boy.. thanks for being such a sweetie.. i am really sorry for hurting you because i had been negative with my life.. i know you think that you've lost the used to be very happy angie.. i dont know if you notice me being happier since that time.. even though you are not 1.8m tall, it doesnt matter. because i can look at you without raising my head high. and being 1.8m above in height was the past criteria i set in my boyfriend.. you need not have a very broad shoulder.. because what you have now is enough for me me and just me. no one had ever tasted my tear to stop me from crying and make me smile.. you are the first..

the tough periods gone through with you are of no pain or torturings, but blessing that we've made it through together.. it's been really fun with you.. because of you, i learnt prawning, swimming, skating and much more. feeding you with food because i want a healthier you too. feeding myself less food is because i dont want to be fatter than you :p WAHAHAHA. so dont feed me bui bui again okay :D

you are the first and last boyfriend whom i allow to smoke okay. because you look so charming when you hold the cigarette. lol. i will try to help you and not make it worse alright :) TAKE NOTE AH.. if i forget, remind me i posted these :p lastly, i will never forget, YOU WERE THERE DURING MY POLY GRADUATION :D and the BIG BIG WORDINGS AT JURONG LAKEPARKi know you prefer anniversary through years.. but i still want to say, happy 16th month for 28th june 2010 :)

mac mac!

2010-06-25T12:29:00.003+08:00

i got shortlisted for an interview by mac mac! ARGH! so exciting! but i will go for the interview on 10th July. SO LATE. oh my god.. HOW?! i dont know if i should go ahead with other applications or not.. i am lost again :( just when i am so disappointed with mac mac, it came.. HELP! been offered some offers.. but i really want a stable job now.. of my interest..

random

2010-06-24T05:03:00.003+08:00

now having 武林大会with new formation of andreances. it's time.. because the group formed years back.. now seem to fall apart.. with much conflicts in.. this meeting time was suggested by one 笨蛋. oh yes. wedding bells ringing! xuanxuan is finally married with her hubby. definitely over the moon for her.. after so much.. and her baby is due anytime soon! shijia and nat papa are getting married! my friendly senior also had proposed to his girl and yes! she accepted! and when i got extremely happy for all.. people pop out and ask when's mine. anyway, it doesnt matter when i am getting married :p because it is a lifetime commitment and I AM STILL YOUNG. i know it's a trend to get married early.. so damn cool when your children gets into tertiary education, you are still late 30s or early 40s. aiyah. who cares.

off for a meeting with them!

jobs jobs jobs

2010-06-18T13:54:00.002+08:00

i said hope for good news by next post right? well. it didnt turn out to be what i've written. actually, resent the application but have given up hope.. maybe, i am just not fated to with mac mac? haha. i actually send application to an organisation.. hope to hear from them soon. but i have no much confidence. zZz. and i cant wait to get out of this life. because i dread this kind of life.. not enjoying at all. one day no income, means one day wasted again. zZz. nevermind. maybe up till next tuesday, if i dont hear from this organisation, i will actually send to another one. think i am just trying out. but who cares. at least i chose it.

resting and resting

2010-06-13T01:58:00.004+08:00

third week of rest. so sad. though no one had interfere me in resting. but i am truly disturbed. because i am not someone who loves lazing around. i had been trying to find things to do. had been sick for 2 weeks. throughout the week i had been suffering due to falls at home and outside.

i keep asking myself. am i really that bad? because mac mac still havent call me. :( but my sister say most probably they missed out mine because i uploaded my resume into their database and that's all. lols.

had been doing lots of cooking in this 3 weeks. i truly hope by coming week i am working! because i cant wait to shed off those pounds i have gained these 3 weeks. not much but i always shed off pounds easily when i am working! due to irregular meals. though i didnt have regular meals too but i am resting quite sufficiently!

shall note down my must accomplished by 2nd part of the year! 1) to get a pair of new specs. 2) to get a pair of contact lens. maybe permanent one instead of daily. 3) to get a new laptop. perhaps i will get the acer ferrari! so chio! 4) maybe a new contract line. if i were to enter catering sales? haha. well. (optional definitely) 5) new handphone! :). up till now. i think all these are very simple to achieve! haha. sunday! hais. hope next post will be good news!

2010-06-03T02:14:00.002+08:00

it's been so long since i feel so fucking stressed. i feel so useless without a job. i felt as if i am nothing. i am just nothing. till now the organisation havent got back to me :( hais. why? i want to do catering as my alternative. but i looked down on myself. what is happening to me? what do i want? fuck. this saturday marks the second week of me resting. what the hell am i doing? i am not fine with resting for so long! i cant do it! :( am i having my depression again? why am i so fucking paranoid?

:(

2010-05-28T16:53:00.004+08:00

does all these applies to how you feel? hais :(

1) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么要学会坚强?
-> 因为他们自己知道.他们虽然外表坚强.但内心很脆弱.他们永远想让自己身边的她觉得自己是最棒的.

2) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么不会轻易掉眼泪?
->因为他们自己知道.他们不是不会掉眼泪.只是他明白.一但眼泪掉下来了.这段感情也就结束了.

3)女人永远也不知道男人为什么每次在心烦的时候那么喜欢抽烟?
->因为他们自己知道.只有在烟雾中才能忆起他们过去美好的时光来寻求一点心里的平衡.

4) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么要在分手以后还会对她嘘寒问暖?
->因为他们自己知道.他们并不是想跟你做朋友.只是想挽回这段曾经属于他的感情.

5) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么每次在听到她被欺负了会显得那么发狂?
->因为他们自己知道.哪怕这次架打输了.躺下了.他也会觉得高兴.因为他们宁愿自己受到伤害.也不愿意看到你哭泣.

6) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么在分手以后会夜夜买醉?
->因为他们知道.如果今晚不麻醉自己.那么今晚只能在思念中度过.

7)女人永远也不知道男人为什么每次出门会出手那么大方?
->因为他们知道.他们宁愿自己一个人省吃检用.也不愿意你看到你被别人看不起.

8) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么会那么爱对她发脾气?
->因为他们自己知道.对她发脾气并不是不爱她.只是希望她在以后的路上不被别人所欺骗.

9) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么会那么在意你以前的男朋友?
-> 因为他们自己知道.并不是他们不自信.只是他们害怕有一天你会离他而去.

10) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么看到你为别人写的日记之后还会那么镇静的听你解释?
->因为他们自己知道.自己并不是不想发火.只是希望能从你的口中得知到底是他重要还是别人重要?

11) 女人永远也不知道男人为什么不对她说我爱你⒊个字?
-> 因为他们知道.并不是不想说.只是他们自己明白.⒈万句我爱你用在身上也不够.

happy 15th month to you love.. 其实，这段日子发生很多事。现在担心是否有工作做。而爸爸病了很严重。我很担心。因为爸妈在我生命中很重要，哥哥，姐姐也是。当然，他也是。爸妈好像一瞬间变了。身体突然变了。我真的很怕。前些日子，因为他抽烟和他大吵了。我知道要戒掉它很不容易。我知道烟就像你的命根子，是个你永远都戒不掉的隐。它陪伴你很久了。但，我真的怕失去你。每次你生病时，我都提心吊胆。因为我不知道怎样治好你的病。我真的很害怕。你知道吗？:( 我也知道，只要你过去了那里，我们距离会越来越远。而如果我也开始那里的工作，我们或许也不能像从前，现在了。是时候独立了。谢谢你这日子给我的依靠，包容。。。

the pessimist in making

2010-05-28T04:43:00.003+08:00

it's been so long since i last changed my blogskin. this time round, not the sweet and nice but the dull and grey. back to the same old style..

very much of the emotional me again. disagree with the part that joshua says.. he commented that ~~people around are getting very emotional~~.. i do agree that it's unhealthy.. but that doesnt mean people has got nothing better to do.. well.. i dont seek for everyone's understanding to my situation.. but i hope that people will respect my feelings.. for the fact i dont pour my sorrows to anyone.. sometimes, even him also dont know what happened to me.. i dont need to explain what had happened to me down here.. the least understanding everyone can give is not to stop me from being emotional.. i have to say, if you dislike it, dont read any of my post anywhere then. of course, i am not referring to my above mentioned friend.. he is a very optimistic dude and therefore i dont blame him for criticising people who are more pessimistic.. of course he was not against anyone at that moment.. but somehow.. i felt strongly against it.. well.. dont feel like talking it anymore..

had sent my application in.. i hope it works out for me.. if not i have to seek for other paths.. will i be successful? hope so.. well.. 22 years in my life.. this year had been the most fulfilling.. because i learnt quite a number of new skills.. thanks to him. i know how to swim finally but wasnt good yet. i still havent master it and i have a lot to go! i learnt skating but it scare me out of my wits.. damn. i dont know if i have the courage again.. my culinary skills had no doubt improve because i keep experimenting on new ingredients and combinations.. i had been trying to learn malay language and i am still learning slowly!

my reflections? well.. guess i am still the me.. as ambitious as ever.. something lives in me forever.. that is never say die.. many times i force myself to do well.. i dont know where i got all the courage from even when the thing scare me out of my wits.. i was frustrated because he wanted me to learn all these.. but.. guess.. everything is for my own good. if not i will regret not trying out so many things which i thought was impossible.. what's next? do i have the courage to learn driving? well.. not as easy as drinking.. haha. i had quit drinking since my problems or rather old ailment acted up again.. gastric pain acting up often.. and now? i suspect i have throat infection again.

i am really tired.. i am not a pessimist but i have to say.. the nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.. prove me wrong.. i need a lot of tender loving and care now.. i am in a very fragile stage now.. i am really scared.. do you still read my blog like the past? i dont know.....

finally.

2010-05-24T03:00:00.002+08:00

so many thoughts to be written down. i am still not sleeping. my mind is tired. gonna go 2 places later. rail mall and king albert park. just in case you guys are not updated, i left my current job.. it was planned. so no worries. just started my short break.. well, as i mentioned previously, i know what i want to do.. the past week, i had been doing closing.. it was so mundane.. last 3 days, really busy. got to handover so many things.. not easy.. for the past almost 7 months with CS, i've grown stronger, emotion and physical wise.. of course, equip myself with more skills. it was a great responsibility for me.. non food, gms, bws and checkout were departments under my care.. the SA(s) there, the cashiers there, were like gems to me.. i dont bribe my staff.. i reward them.. because they worked really hard.. especially my only SA (sales assistant fyi) in my department, din.. i struggled a lot through my journey there.. 1st month, i was with jelita.. struggled so much emotionally.. worried about not being efficient enough for the organisation.. and very much, my brother's face.. well.. it's true my brother recommended me this work.. but i never want people to know who my brother is.. nor i wish to mention his name during my work.. because me is me. i worked hard.. but seems that my efforts are simply being treated like shit at times..

being happy at work, enjoying it are my top priorities in life.. maybe this is why i chose to leave.. well.. it doesnt matter how people are going to say.. like i let my brother down.. i dont give a damn.. at least i am proud to say i produce results and i never let him down..

my last day.. my girls really made my tears dropped. this is crazy.. got emotional.. got the title of customer service manager because checkout was under my care.. if i get complain by customers, this is really a big joke. they told me a customer complained about me in the morning with regards to lost and found.. they say i answered the phone call and didnt keep a bag of grocery well for the customer.. i was completely clueless and they ask me to look at the bag.. i was pretty nervous because I THOUGHT I REALLY GOT COMPLAINED BY CUSTOMER.. and seriously, before tears filled my eyes, i was like "what the fuck". tears rolled down my cheeks.. truly touched.. few people i would like to name.. please allow me..

shawn yeo :p
oh dear.. you guys believe i never call him by his name before? haha. he will be the first person i would to name out of so many.. he had suffered so much from my emotion roller coaster ride.. nearly suffered from depression again.. he used his patience, love and care despite me not smiling at all and being aloof to him.. his advice, his support, his love.. what more can i ask for?

shida
my dear darling. you will be the second i want to thank.. it was amazing.. i feel so comfortable seeing you during my first day.. the first person i engage with when i stepped into rail mall was you.. your smile make me feel comfortable and i enjoy talking to you always.. you were always there.. feeling unfair for me for the treatments i get there.. truly touched.. supposed to leave together with you.. but nevertheless, going to keep in touch with you

lim woon loong aka pig head
yeah. pig head.. you are so irritating at times but you helped me a lot.. thanks for being there when i need someone to talk to during work.. it's a pity that you left before i leave.. so sudden.. wish you all the best (:

all of my staff and the aunties
i shall include fangli also.. i didnt forget how much you tried helping me during CNY when i was alone doing those stocks.. and also, my SA(s) - din, jalal, azlan and azahar.. my cashiers - huechi, nurul, misyah, vijiya, lynn, fazli, suria.. aunties who took care of me and making my moments there happy - auntie gekhuay, huihong, mui eng, mary..

noraini
my dear mummie.. things never change no matter what happened that time.. no matter what had happened.. you are still my mummie.. i am sorry.. i cant help you.. i was really touched by your encouragements.. i really appreciate..

others
this category would include my great merchandisers and bellson from KAP.. jodee from lipex, kim eng from 3M, the dryers wee wee auntie (i am sorry i dont know your name =/) you guys were great.. (:

such a long post.. wanted to talk to some people so much.. juliana, genhao.. had been wanting to plan a cocktail party.. gonna be a private one.. what do i want to achieve? the way people enjoy my art pieces.. (: oh yah! went to east coast park with love last week! he had invited me to skate.. and i was so scared -.- fell down once and he mentioned i started out good as a first timer.. haha. time to get some plans on track! gonna force myself to sleep~

ps* i didnt know my brother stalks my facebook also -.- oh dear.. and of course my sister.. haha.. good nites!

i'm loving it :)

2010-05-11T00:23:00.002+08:00

now, my main concern is my future.. actually, i know where i want to end up. but no doubt, affected by comments and views.. people feel that it's a disgrace for diploma holder to end up there.. i beg to differ.. degree holder also could end up there.. why not me? well, the pay isnt that bad.. i dont mind about the oil and stuff.. i only know it grew up with me.. i love that place.. why did i say i grew up with it? love its food since young.. though unhealthy.. even can go there to study whereby it accompanied me through my "N" and "O" Levels... even my diploma studies, my exams, even up till project work.. knew great people there.. i am sorry guys.. bad at names.. suntec people and not forgetting jec people.. these friends whom i knew.. well, sis warned me how bad it was.. politics everywhere isnt it? current workplace dont seem any better.. i really hope.. i could get into this place! kopitiam, my sis decided for me.. cold storage, my bro decided for me.. the next, i decide myself! wish me the best of luck.. shall send in my resume during last week of work with dairy farm.. (:

diarrhea again.. severe one. but the doctor's medicine POWDERFUL SEH. wahaha. i know lah. powerful~ i ate one time, okay already! well, loves. i am very determined to get in~!

labor day

2010-05-02T02:03:00.003+08:00

wedding bells.. haha. mummie (yuquan) and daddie (ervine) are finally getting married! so happy for them after years.. next will be xuan and her fiance.. then.. jiejie (adeline :p) and her bf.. wahaha. quite a number le okay.. today was a busy day for me.. hate it when people get into trouble then i gonna clean up their shits for them.. chill chill. so angry! gonna start searching for a new job soon! kor's dog is senile. oh dear. i asked him to open counter on behalf of me.. he asked me to look after his senile dog. lols.

so disappointed today. because people only think for themselves, throw temper, thinking that this will solve the problem and make things faster. when you all grumbles, have you ever spare a thought for others? if you think it's so easy, come do my job then.. actually, i am not obligated to open counter today.. i can really give an attitude. why am i working so hard for? because i pamper you all. pamper till all of you are spoilt.. spoilt till my heartache. fuck. i'm not going to care.. because, i am left with 3 weeks to face all of you. after 3 weeks, get lost.

labor day should be rest day lor. but a very tiring day for me. hais. no mood to sleep. nites

happy with you (:

2010-05-01T02:02:00.004+08:00

there should not be any hard feelings if i were to leave. but then, some people just love to find troubles. they curse, they gossip and they have nothing better to do. well, like what i say, all so grown up. one of them old enough like my mum. still bad mouthing about others and criticise people like they owe you a living. well, if you dont stop your sarcasm, then pray hard that you wont get stroke on your mouth and it goes crooked! take it as i am cursing you! i dont care. because it's so nonsensical of you people and get a life!

next monday till wednesday, i am on leave. gonna do so many things. gonna get things right and back. i was mean for these two days. for the fact my fucking attitude is out again. not to everyone. but to those who deserves. like who? yesterday, a receptionist got scolded by me at a clinic in west. shall not name the clinic. nowadays, doctors are so unethical. it says operate to 12 midnight. at 1135pm yesterday, i reached the door, it was locked. i was very frustrated and i knocked very hard on the door. the receptionist didnt dare to open the door and open the window slightly. guess what? she told me it's closed. i asked her what time is it and they are suppose to operate till 12am. well, she told me doctor had left and i prompt her same question again. she told me last registration was at 1145pm. i asked her again the same question. she told me they go according to their own time. very well. i gave her my last words, "this is bullshit!". need a doctor for him yet go 2 places, for nothing. ARGH.

i hope my darling gets well soon. had a fun day with him! haha. few days back went to JB with him. caught a movie there but it sucks. supposed to be thai horror movie but it wasnt as horror as expected. well. went there to shop for stationery. lols. so weird. bought couple t-shirt, and 1 shirt each. wahaha. today was loads of laughters with him. instantly took photos and print it. shall share one photo of us to people. loves.

2010-04-19T03:58:00.002+08:00

愿意像傻瓜一样等你，是因为担心你，想见你一面。哭不是因为恨你，而是因为太在乎你，不能失去你。再怎么生气，收到你的信息，你就像灭火器，把我定下来 my willingness to wait for you like a fool, is because i was worried about you and wanted to see you once more. when tears flowed, it's not because i have resentment in you, it's because i care for you a lot and i can't lose you. no matter how angry i am, when i received your message, you are like a fire extinguisher and cool me down..

just got home not long. actually wanted to sleep. but can't. decide to come online.. write about how i feel since he's sleeping soundly at home.

dont know what happened to me.. dreamt about bad things yesterday night. i was quite upset because i felt as if honeymoon period is over and he dont bother about me because he no longer send me sms. but i knew it in heart that's not the case because he puts in so much effort to meet me everyday. but i admit i cant take it the fact that he dont message me.. :( because i wake up with fear last night.. i messaged him i hate him.. because i needed him.. he called me immediately and i refused to pick up. when he finally picked up, we ended it by quarreling. it continues until today..

see his facebook, write he's coughing.. was thinking.. hais. actually my fault.. so, i messaged him and ask if he's still coughing. waited for hours.. he didnt reply. didnt call him after my work.. because i was also disappointed. basically, dont have mood for the whole day. he posted on facebook, saying he's waiting for someone to call.. but i didnt call him still. messaged him instead. he said he's waiting for someone to appear but she didn't. i went around to look for him.. bought him cough medicine. but he didnt reply.. couldnt get through him, he was on the way up to his house. i thought i wouldnt cry.. but i did. i thought i could let it go suavely.. but i didnt.. i cried all the way.. hais. finally, reached his house. zhenghua became the victim.. actually worried about him but ask zhenghua talk to him.. in the end zhenghua was blamed by me for siding him.. cos i placed the medicine at door step and i waited outside. but he told zhenghua he took the medicine already. and zhenghua insist he had taken it but i saw it still outside. so i was very angry and blamed zhenghua for not believing in me. sorry :( hais. i told zhenghua, my concern for him has ceased and i gave up.. but suddenly received his message asking me where i am etc.. i wanted to buy him porridge but he wanted me to cook for him.. just like a fie extinguisher.. i cooked for him.. hais :(

he told me his legs were numb and had fell down. i was really worried.. really felt that i never take care of him well. before i go, see him sleep so soundly, must be tired bah.. hais.. previous relationship, when i say let go, i dont feel the pain.. but when i say i wanted to let go now, i feel extremely pain.. he's different.. he's not like my previous.. he really let me know what's love.. but.. i cant seem to change for him. know that humans are not perfect.. but.. why am i still such a lousy girlfriend to him? hais. let me be..

one more thing.. someone just poked his nose at things at the wrong time. yes. shiyun, i am referring to your friend. well, me, angie voon knows very well i am chubby or even fat. no need people to hurt my dignity by reminding me. i am not exactly fat till like a hippo. anyway, if you think it's offensive to remind people that he or she is chubby, then dont comment! you dont look perfect anyway. dont be a hypocrite and tell people no offense. well, take it as i am not in the mood to joke or i cant take your HAHAHA jokes. i have never said before i can take people's comments well. so, just zip up your mouth if you think you are offending people. leave some dignity.

happy birthday mum!

2010-04-13T23:44:00.002+08:00

i say i wanna sleep early but i cant sleep =x i have to wake up early tomorrow! anyway, it's mum's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! he say he will sms me but he didnt :( i am down with slight fever at the wrong time. he was right. i cannot get drench in rain. i just have a few drops of rain on me and look, i am sick! ARGH~ the worst will be being sick without having the one you wanted most by your side :( this is how i feel :( T~T good night~

my dreams.

2010-04-13T21:23:00.002+08:00

darling is back tomorrow. i am so happy (: i have some photos of redang at my facebook. do check it out! i went to search for something just now. i am so happy i found it! yes! i always want to be a wedding planner! maybe it's thought of impulse. but it's a very challenging and satisfying job! well.. gonna save up.. save up hard on my next job.. i shall go for the certificate hopefully before i turn 25! yes! i want to get the certificate as wedding planner! ^^

before this, actually, i want to work in an establishment! people think it's not feasible. people think it's not a place for me.. but, i wanna prove them wrong! first, of course they must shortlist me for an interview! shall take action in may. in the meanwhile, i shall fulfill my responsibility! i am turning in early tonight. tomorrow is going to be a very tiring day for me!

redang trip and reflections!

2010-04-13T04:08:00.002+08:00

after an hour, still decide to keep this blog skin of mine. oh. simply lol. it was redang trip last week! at this time of last week, we were on our way to redang! it was a long journey. coach + boat ride, 12 hours. oh dear. it was real fun! well, i didnt know how to swim. went for snorkeling. oh dear. the moment i got down to the sea, i was shivering and grabbing on things. bb darling says i'm like a kitten going to drown in the sea. -.- anyway, learnt how to swim a little! haha. the sea was so blue. ocean blue. the karaoke there sucks -.- the fishes there are hungry for food i swear. bb darling played a prank on the kids -.- made me laughed so hard. sea sick and sun burnt. oh my. you must experience it yourself! our room is pool view. so, it was real pretty. lazy to upload photos =x haha. laguna redang rocks! it's near more more tea inn. and the movie plays 24/7 -.- alamak. he almost died watching it with me over and over again. the best food i probably have was the fried rice from the food court there. haha.

after much consideration, it was time for me to leave that place.. place full of disappointment. it taught me a lesson, not to trust people easily. yet again right? i left for nobody. i left for myself, my happiness, my future, my well being.. i hate to be in a demoralising place. i tried so hard to motivate myself but it was futile. no matter what, still have to thank a few people like shida, aidah, woonloong, vijiya, my hardworking boy; din who had struggled so much with me. (: and most importantly, the guy who is still fighting with me, who is still so nice to me, my darling, mr yeo yao siong shawn :p i nearly lost you when i am there. perhaps, i need to equalise work and personal time. maybe i should be less responsible -.- i should not think of work 24/7 unless it's worth..

lastly, i would like to thank my brother.. i am sorry i couldnt fulfill the career path you set for me.. i just want to do what i like.. i am on my own to pursue what i love.. i shall be merticulous.. and people there, thank you for moulding me into a strong individual than before. people who looked down on me, who laughed at my mistakes, FUCK YOU. you will get what you deserved because god is watching over all of us. (:
bb darling went overseas on saturday. bidding him goodbye is difficult because we see each other everyday. -.- yes. after 13 months, still the same. haha. anyway, expecting him back on 14 april which is wednesday! my mum's birthday! cant wait. i am making tiramisu for him (: off to bed! loves!

mixed feeling~

2010-02-15T18:03:00.003+08:00

happy chinese new year to all (: finally, the end of the busiest period. till date, 3 months with CS. having mixed feelings because i supposed to tender my resignation soon. but i'm still holding it back. whether to or not to? i asked myself. retail is definitely not what i love.. but i cant be resigning in jobs everywhere just because i dont love the line.. it's definitely a good try.. but it had been giving me many problems. i had cuts and bruises everywhere after i've gotten into this job. my asthmatic problems nearly triggered a lot of times since i started this job compared to many other jobs.. it's real tiring.. because of it, i seriously think i neglected a lot of things.. especially us.. so depressing..

felt completely nothing for CNY. and it's together with valentine's day. i felt nothing for both event. we are working. so, i thought it would be a pretty good surprise if i could whip up something for him. impromptu decision actually. did the special meat patty with cheese, potato salad and his favorite garlic bread for him. a little bit lazy to post up pictures. shall upload the gifts i've actually gotten for him (: this valentine's should actually be the second with him.. reason being.. last year, during this time, we were online.. he was outside with mr gao lin. and i messaged him happy valentine's day purposely :p then when he reached home, he saw me still online, he say he will accompany me till i sleep. lols. that was really sweet.. because, we are still not together.. haha. but it was also a period of time, we didn't face each other's feelings truthfully.. though i struggled a bit emotionally that time, i think, the process is still sweet.

the reunion dinner at soup restaurant was fast.. not much catching with my siblings though. i was feeling pretty bored after dinner.. went out for a walk and saw guardian opening despite so many closed business around. impulse buy - .-" bought the liese hair dye i had been eyeing on when i worked at CS. dyed my hair chiffon beige. tadah~ valentine's day picture of miss angie (: loads of loves..

short post

2010-02-04T04:40:00.002+08:00

cleans up cobwebs* well. expect me to blog during my off days now (: start of full shift on saturday. have to endure for a week =x how am i going to survive again? it will be real tiring for me during CNY. i swear i will sleep the whole day =x yeah. looking forward to 2011 (: because i am expecting a promise.. will it come true? hope so. i really hope time pass faster :p well, tired. doing something for him. it's worthwhile (: loves. talking about work, i need to rant. people who dont bother to understand, i wont bother to explain. because i dont owe anyone an explanation in everything. rich, so what? big fuck? means you can treat same beings like slaves? well, wake up. what comes around, goes around.

sad ):

2010-01-31T04:45:00.002+08:00

我知道伤心不能改变什么，那么，让我诚实一点。一个人坐在空荡包厢里面，手机，让它休息一夜。还要时间，才能平衡。early in the morning, or should i say in wee hours, i am emo-ing. it's gonna be CNY soon. yeah, real fast. also, the arrival of valentine's day.. however, not looking forward to it.. because, it wont turn out to be the day i really want.. just like what i've written in chinese, this is how i had been feeling for the past week. yeah, i finally got my internet stick back. i can blog as and when i like. in life, we need to prioritise things.. however, i feel that some things will be neglected because we cant juggle everything well. but it hurts.. work is going a bit on the track now.. had been working really hard for the past two weeks. no off day until today. however, 24 hours later, i am waking up, getting ready for work again. nowadays, i dont feel it anymore.. it's not like the past.. just like what my status had reflected, anything can be an excuse.. anything can be valid.. hais. T_T

2009. exciting, challenging.

2010-01-05T12:16:00.004+08:00

hello people! happy new year! oh dear. i havent been maintaining my blog, leaving it to actually have cobwebs around. 2009 had been an exciting, challenging year for me.. first of all, i ended an almost coming to 3 years relationship.. and received love from someone else (: well, it's more towards being with someone whom i actually had feelings for quite some time ago. it's almost going to be a year since we are together. how time flies.. i remember during this time of last year, i am still ~~struggling with projects.~~ right now? i am struggling with department sales and catching up with my job responsibilities.

graduated from the polytechnic which i love so much. had mixed feeling. one good thing, i need not travel to and fro, 3 hours. bad thing, full of memories. i miss school so much. i miss the really hectic and fulfilling life i've got. working and schooling. now? work is totally mundane.

talking about work, 2009 is also a year whereby i switched quite a number of job as a fresh graduate. yeah. i joined back kbox as a full timer and then, i bid goodbye to them on july.. ended my 3 years plus of service there. today actually was the 4th year if i am still with kbox. went to kopitiam group of companies as operations executive.. i could only say, things there to learn are quite limited. perhaps as an executive.. decide to leave during my 3rd month and ended in this current job with dairy farm singapore. well, or should i say, the green apple. wahaha.

~~struggled emotionally and physically. seriously sick during the festive period and many times during the year, my asthmatic problems keep acting up.~~ have to juggle between family, financial, work and peer pressure. that's really enough. i dont think i want to share every bits of details here because i seriously think it would be a waste of time. and i didnt bring up this issue to friends because i am totally worn out during that period. i rather use that period to rest. seriously, i am still going through all these. hais.

my bb darling and i had also been through our ups and downs. seriously, this period, he had been there.. i am truly grateful towards that. and yes. today, i just went to collect our rings. (: 3 months back, i actually permed my hair and 2 days back, i decide to get it straight back. he love my straight hair so much :p wahaha. days ahead are going to be more challenging. no festive mood at all actually. totally no. i still lack of my beauty sleep! doing some plannings again. really hope the plan will work! (:

last of all, 2009 is also a year whereby i get to see who are the ones which are labelled as true friends. i dont feel a pain in losing some friends. because like what bb's uncle say.. if a friend could betray or hurt you once, it means, they dont regard you as anything in their eyes. it's better to lose them. it's not that he's being harsh, but i totally agree. that's why, i was so relieved in losing a certain acquantaince. well. the reason why i dont feel the pain is because she had been ~~hurting me emotionally..~~ and now since we are no longer friends, why bother to see me in your eyes? just because you didnt have him? well, it's like, it's so obvious.. you got near me because you wanted to get near him. you didnt contact me for so long and upon hearing rumours of me and him together, you contact me immediately and brought up this issue. well, doesnt matter now. because i seriously had get you out of my life (: i am glad that i have found out things and not let it affect my relationship with him. you should be ashamed of the lies you told and stop thinking that we will have miscommunications. bb wanted me to end this friendship long ago but i did not.. she can comment about whatever thing or even take revenge. i dont give a damn. because it shows that you dont have a life at all and you act like a kid though you are so much older than me.

forever an existing issue at workplace, politics. tsk* act like your age and stop gossiping. i seriously feel unfair for those people being accused. speak with concrete evidence! that's what i believe..

it's disappointing to see and have known what attitude some friends have on me.. well, i guess, in my heart.. i know truly who to entrust to.. seriously, if anyone think i am wrong in any way, you need not be here at all.. what would 2010 be like? i dont know. shall wait and see (:

HELLO!~

2009-12-06T02:13:00.002+08:00

hello people! *waves* my apologies for not blogging for quite a long time. yeap yeap! after the last post, i seem to be lost in blogger but active in facebook. yeah. currently struggling with my job. really not easy. last time was an acting duty manager of a foodcourt :p now a supermarket =x hais. so much things for me to learn! back in school basics. ohmygod. today i am like so unlucky and i was so sad. but i was strong! actually, i miss kopitiam work so much! hais~ or should i say i miss the part i serve the customers with angie-made desserts? i miss F&B line~ yeah yeah. i finished my training at jelita.. now back to rail mall. facing a big challenge. bless me people.. christmas is gonna be so busy for me. hais~ hope i enjoy christmas and 2010 is coming. i dont feel it.. look forward to my next post okay? loves~

2009-11-01T02:30:00.002+08:00

quick post yeah. went missing for quite some time. what have i been doing? shifted from feast back to jurong point kopitiam. and now? yesterday was my last working day.. will start a new venture tomorrow.. i thought i would be happy. but i found out so many things.. disappointing.. and tears flowed uncontrollably.. i dont wish to find out anything anymore..

:(

2009-10-10T05:37:00.004+08:00

i remember posting this on my blog last year. haha. it's time to check it on my dear boy (:

1. Touch her waist. (yes, he did it always)
2. Share secrets with her. (yup. he did!)
3. Give her your jacket. (he had brought a jacket for me cos he knows i will be sneezing away!)
4. Kiss her slowly. (*smiles)
5. Hug her. (yeap yeap!)
6. Hold her. (always do!)
7. Laugh with her. (yeah!)
8. Invite her somewhere. (yeah! he always involve me in activities!)
9. Smile with her. (*smiles)
10. Take pictures with her. (YEAH!)
11. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her. (*smiles)
12. Kiss her unexpectedly. (*smiles)
13. Hug her from behind around the waist. (*SMILES)
13. Tell her she's beautiful. (he always did xD)
14. Tell her the way you feel about her. (haha. sometimes he do)
15. Tell her she's your everything - only if you mean it. (*smiles)
16. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her. (he will ask at appropriate time. of course, he will be there!)
17. Make her feel loved. (absolutely)
18. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know! (haha.)
19. Don't lie to her. (yeah. he did it)
20. DON'T cheat on her. (i trust him)
21. Take her ANYWHERE she wants. (he dotes on me!)
22. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her. (yes! he did it all the time!)
23. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you. (:D)
24. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too. (*smiles)
25. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her. (yeap. *smiles)
26. Kiss her on the cheek (haha. xD)
27. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly. (lols. xD)
28. Don't ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she's upset, comfort her. (he gave in to me a lot!)
29. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her. (sweets*)
30. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you. (haha. not to the extend of gazing stars lah)
31. When walking next to each other grab her hand. (that's what he always did)
32. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. (*smiles!)
33. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams. (he always call. haha)
34. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears. (he taste my tears. lols)
35. Take her for long walks at night. (yeah! we did it before we are together too!)
36. Always remind her how much you love her (of course he did this!)

checked. he passed all (: now i know why i am so crazy over him. he set off to airport already. hais. see you 4 days later darling. :( :( :(

:(

2009-10-10T01:46:00.003+08:00

currently, my mood is =( but hais. you all can say it's really nothing.. but maybe a minimum number of people will know how i feel. maybe to a lot of people, not seeing his or her loved ones for 5 days is nothing.. but to me, i feel the opposite. i cant feel happy over it.. like that time, i will refrain myself from so many things.. i will go totally moodless.. maybe he pampers me too much.. unlike SOME (i never say all couples ah..) couples, they can see each other like 3 times a week only.. we tried it before too.. but many times, still cant helped it, i rushed down to somewhere, just to see him for 10 minutes.. like he too, did rushed down just to meet me for like a short time.. once, we see each other everyday no matter how late it was.. it had already become part of my life.. so so important.. i am fine not seeing him for a day or even two days.. in fact, two days sometimes we already cannot tahan.. -.- i am happy for him because it's a rare chance to go overseas for competition.. so, i never want him to give it up because of me..

tears flow uncontrollable ): i dont know.. why are my tears flowing? hais. i have no idea too. i only know, i want 14th to come fast..

so random!

2009-10-08T03:09:00.002+08:00

as i read my post from the past, i find it so sweet and funny. especially the times where i havent been together with my boy. haha. it's like, he knows i have giddy spells often, he lets me lean on his shoulders though we are not together. he smells my hair and guess what shampoo i used -.- he also guess what perfume i used. lols. i think i deceived myself for mentioning him as a friend only since we contacted each other back. he accompanied me throughout my final year exams and graduation. that's so important! he accompanied me for studying, he helps me carry my stuff even if we are not together. i remember making dedications for him at mac donalds. remember the first time we sang together.. it was so nervous for me. haha. and he LOVES LAUGHING at me. because i always got scare by movies. my actions, he will laugh at it non-stop. EXAMPLES. my bloody valentine and final destination 4. he knows how to control me because if i see any touchscreen panel with print function, i will press print non-stop. and this is when he will pull me away :p

and you know what? i just realised i once said i wanted a ponyo cake for my 21st =x haha. forget about it. i am as happy with any cakes. and i was reminded that i made a pact with my er gui that we are going to wear nyonya costumes and have a makeover. and also, da gui, er gui and i say we will go for an overseas trip this year! oh my. -.- remember these girls?

to end off, you know what? it's not easy to find someone who makes you feel so blessed from the start till now.. he did it.. he makes every process so sweet.. even when we are not together, he took care of me so well! i love you boy (:

permed angie

2009-10-08T01:55:00.002+08:00

"xiao mei! tell you what! we are going to visit you today!" said jason. i was like what the fuck. i just permed my hair yesterday and you all are coming?! >_< out ="pPp">
my "old town" is opening on 15th october. hoho~! new big challenge for me.. my dear boyfriend is going to beijing for competition on 10th! i wish him LOTS OF LUCK. muacks (: yeah, 5 days without seeing him might be nothing to a lot of people. but to me and him, ohmygod. can die! haha. i am so looking forward to next wednesday! he will be coming back!

and yeah. i did something to my hair. and it looks so dry! :( permed it.. but i still love my straight hair! :( angie HAD SHORT AND PERMED HAIR! :(

hais

2009-10-06T01:44:00.002+08:00

time check: 0145 hours. 4 more days, he will be flying to beijing. :( 11 more days, my big day will arrive. i still havent get my hair done, still havent buy my clothes. well. am i that busy? perhaps i am busy replenishing my sleep. lols. i might make a big decision again. well, it affects my future! i dont know. i wish i could accept the challenge and move myself into greater heights. didnt meet him today. well, he still havent call me :( frankly speaking, i am not in the mood to celebrate my 21st? i should be looking forward to it. but recently, life had been suck. i just dont understand why some people make people's life so miserable.

fast and furious.

2009-09-29T01:17:00.003+08:00

dont blame me for scolding you an asshole because you totally deserve this fucking word. it had been a disgrace for me to actually have a past with you. even if we are back as friends, you can see i dont even give a shit. i am telling you now that you had been such a liar and i already moved on with my life 7 months back. i was the one who said i dont want the past to haunt me. so, dont try to use my words and put it in your mouth. ask yourself how much lies have you told. the most ridiculous was that you, in order to make me stay in the relationship, lied to me that you have got cancer and is dying in 5 years. well, it does not hurt at all. because i know and i am glad that i moved on with a guy whom deserve all my love. i seriously think that i've wasted my youth on you, on a guy who dont deserve any bits of my love. i should have heed advices from all and i should have really end it during the first month. if i really end it during the first month, i wouldn't have suffered for 32 months! i am just deceiving myself by telling myself and you, how much i care for those months. if not, i wouldnt have leave.. and you are the one who made things so ugly! i already warned you that i wanted to be platonic friends.. dont complain and say i betrayed you and went for another guy. let me tell you.. i had been in love with this guy for half a year since i met him.. it's just that i told myself not to make rash decisions.. well, it doesnt matter if you read this.. it would be good if you read.. because it's a form of reflection and my last words to you.. and you know what? you are out of my life completely.. and the next time you see me, dont say i ignored you like that time..

miss angie is sick again. sick for the second time of the month =x ever since my last off day, i still havent got my off day. it will be this saturday.. hoho~ received a news that my "old town" will be opened for business next monday. how true is that? who knows. of course i prayed hard it will open after my birthday. haha. will god grant me this wish? my phone was hospitalised for 2 days. i might think of getting rid this phone soon though i just bought it like almost 4 months? i still prefer nokia. maybe i will get nokia 5800. let's see. it will be couple phone if i do =x

one of my darling miss my egg tarts. haha. gonna bake her some when i am free. work these few days was fulfilling but an event happened today.. it made me really pissed off.. because i am not a mighty power woman. i am just an operations executive and you are a restaurant manager.. how can it be i know those things while you dont know? anyway, i am glad i learnt those things at kbox.. it seriously helps.. but it was very disturbing and boy nearly burst out. we are having our dinner and our dinner turns so cold. imagine my cold curry and his noodles turned into flat rice noodles. haha. well, i was very guilty cos i have to call zhiwei up and boy suddenly went moodless in eating.

my first time having ice kachang. though it's still without colorings.. dont be surprised. because i am allergic to colorings.. the ice kachang was with palm sugar.. zZz. i miss the chocolate ice cream ^^ with hersheys' chocolate syrup and peanut crunch.. yummy (: work starts to get more and more challenging.. life gets more and more mundane.. i am looking forward to my birthday because i am spending it with a special someone (: my past birthdays had been so unhappy because i cried.. and i was hospitalised right after my birthday last year.. previous years were doctor and doctor..

boy and i were together for 7 months already! how fast! haha. we cut the same finger and it was like so hilarious! (: october soon.. hoho~ i am looking forward to a new life.. i am waiting for the day to come..

emo post ):

2009-09-25T00:47:00.003+08:00

seriously, i dont know how long i can hold on.. i got a feeling i am going to break down anytime seriously.. second time my heart totally breaks.. all thanks to the forfeit of de coder's cafe.. it nearly happened.. it nearly breaks my heart totally.. but the words are powerful enough to break me up into pieces.. dont know why i am so fragile.. why am i even putting up a strong front? i know in this world, i am more fortunate than a lot of people.. that's why i dont really complain about stuff. maybe i fall too deep.. the deeper it goes, the feeling of pain is greater.. i better have an adjustment to my emotions and everything.. cos i wanna welcome my adulthood happily.

we didnt start out easily. we've been through some thick and thin. it's not easy for us to have been together till now.. you are so dear to me.. takes two hand to clap.. we are in the midst of the race.. we must complete it successfully, beautifully okay?

where have i been to? i spent almost all the time with him these few days. tuesday night, i cooked dinner for him. 1) black soya sauce chicken with ginger slice, 2) australia lettuce / cabbage with prawn and 3) black bean soup for him.. wednesday after i woke up, i cooked lunch for him - my chinese style spaghetti. guess it sucked cos i put tomato sauce. but i cooked better with homemade tomato sauce! we went causeway for a walk and had so much fun with the soft toys. i love ee-yore (: we went to cold storage to get some groceries and i saw serene! haha. so glad (: went back and cooked dinner. 1) steamed meat with the preserved veg, 2) broccoli with vegetarian luo han and 3) yong tau foo with soya bean soup. (:

hoho~ i basically enjoyed cooking with and for him.. guess what? we did 3 things at the same time! it was like what we had been doing in the past. 1) we went to buy the rice and we got exactly the same brand! 2) we did the same facial expression together at the same time. 3) we thought of going out for a walk at the same time!

this morning (thursday), i went to the bakery after sending him off. i was doing the chocolate sponge cake with blueberry jam. seriously, i was afraid the cake taste weird and i scared it doesnt looks presentable. rush and rush. hehe. met juliana and chuensiong at botak jones. after that, he came and went to de coder's cafe. the staff there are quite friendly but seriously, the forfeits pissed me off. made my day down.. then i brought out the cake i made and my dear sister was shocked. haha. hais.. end off the day with a small chat with him..

when he left, the pain in the heart came.. the feeling came back again.. cant bear to see him leave.. hais.. different circumstances now.. hard to explain.. very torturing.. i wish i could spend my time as much with him like the past.. but i know.. impossible le.. cos, we have a future to work on.. please take away my pain..

friends for life?

2009-09-20T03:50:00.002+08:00

second day i didnt see him. tomorrow shall be the third day. hais. i just cant get used to it. 20 days more, he will head to beijing for the competition. it will be also around 4 or 5 days that i couldnt see him. he is flying off on 10th october :( and coming back on 14th october. well. i intend to get off on 14th and 17th & 18th october, i will clear my PH etc.. will it be possible? i just know that my birthday falls on deepavali. how special. lols. -.-

anyway, as previously mentioned, i gained back 2 friends but at the same time, god took 2 friends away from me in exchange.. actually, i had been grateful towards that. because, god woke me up from that dream. my words.. well, i didnt want things to end up like that. friends who know me, knew that no matter how, i will salvage each and every relationship with friends. well, it was time to grow and i told myself, i will never compromise to it again.. because of a guy, you discriminated me and gave me names. well, history happened once again. last and no more chance.. i will not turn back again.. i rather lose you forever, for good. yes, you made it so big, and i am not afraid you reading here. and we are no longer associated with the term, friend.

the second one.. i didnt know you for long.. you took me for granted.. you took my good friend for granted too. to me, you are just toying and cheating on him.. since you have already lost my number, then i will lose you too. i told myself on that day, not to have a friend who takes me for granted and who treats me like a fast cash ATM. off you go. like i said before, we are like computers and friends are like documents in us. when some friends turns into viruses like trojan house, or rather, is a virus call trojan house, then, delete them away from your computer! till date, i swear, i havent delete much friends away.. they are the first 2.. i dont hate them. i will just say that i have no affinity with them.. farewell to you people..

what are the plans ahead? besides work, tuesday after my work in the morning, i will be cooking for that boy and wait for him to knock off! then, we shall go home together and spend the wednesday together! we intend to cook on that day again and thursday, i will be meeting juliana and chuen siong (: hoho~ cool. been some time since i saw them. how long i am with boy = how long i didnt see them. lols.

expecting my birthday soon. BOY! CAN YOU DO THE PLANNING? I AM TIRED OF PLANNING :P QUIET AND SIMPLE AFFAIR.

random

2009-09-19T01:30:00.002+08:00

shall upload photos next week k? i will having two off days. hoho~ finally. recently, i experienced roller coaster kind of emotions. torturing. imagine i see someone everyday and suddenly, i will only see in like 1 week, 2 or 3 times. have to get used to it, i guess. it's not only because of this, but too many things came at the same time. sometimes, i just wish to lead the simple life i had in the past. study, work part time and... hmm, quite a life with freedom but i didnt cherish? i guess during that period, i've grown stronger emotionally and i learnt not to be so dependant on someone. well, that's the past. now, i wish to find back the feeling of studying. that's why, i am doing the major project in life! no deadline (actually, got lah, but it's my own project. who cares?!)

i am in the mood to sing~ but i cant attend the kbox gathering this sunday. for 2 consecutive years, it was being held on 20th september.

did i mentioned many things happened recently? this 1 month havent been a good month for me. friends might see me being as cheerful but.. haha. no one knows what i am going through. shall not go through some in details. in summary, this period is a tough period for me and him. i almost wish to give up.. but it was a rash decision. why should i give up? i thought of giving up because i want to avoid. not because i dont love him, not because i am tired of him. but i told myself, i shouldnt. how can i let someone like him go? haha. where to find such an awesome boyfriend? the main point here is, we clique (: totally. endless topics with him.. endless hobbies with him.. we went kite flying!

talking about kite flying, we went to the green grass patch near jurong safra (suggested by national parks). awesome! that park is damn awesome! i have plans to spend my mooncake festival there but all changed :( i still can spend my mooncake festival with him but it will be so advanced. zZz. ^^ anyway, the kite flying thing makes me =D on that day, we went to rei's house and i cooked for them. hoho~ my future hobby = cooking for the one i spend my lifetime with. (:

i wonder how i am going to spend my birthday. it will be a quiet and low profile one. i swear. i am tired of throwing big bashes. birthday is just another day to me? i had been falling sick for the past 3 consecutive birthdays. all except for 2007 land me into hospital. zZz. hais. how "lucky" i am =/

i will be having steamboat with him :) mini celebration with him.. what else? i wonder..

loving you (:

2009-09-10T02:48:00.004+08:00

0248 hours. cant get into sleep. emo-ed for 2 days already. tears dropped. is it because i missed someone too much? perhaps. but as i think of what he always do, i smiled (: and i looked at the 4 princes photo. more funny. i shall share it with you (:

not that i want to circle mr chicken overfold's tummy and face in red. but it's so funny =pPp and the charming boy whom i circled in blue is my darling :p

i just miss my bb so much :( readers, dont care about this post. cos it will only say things which are meant for him and you will only say, "EE-YER, so mushy". lols. haha. think he will scold me for being idiotic again cos i looked at his photo and feel so dots. -.- i told myself, "yes, you are with this guy for 6 months already! he's really your boyfriend, you are not dreaming!" -.-" okays, i know i am an idiot. dont remind me.

random

2009-09-10T01:48:00.002+08:00

i am browsing on clothes and i am splurging on it when it comes to early october! haha. i have no idea how much weight i lost but it shows on my body! of course being sick makes me slim down a bit. =x anyway, those clothes are so gorgeous and i've decided to doll up myself beautifully! i am still young duh. time to wake up from black clothings. hmm, didnt get to meet up bb darling just now. missed him so much. when i was helping out at the dessert stall, wenyu came and scare me -.- i went laugh out loud. she was with her xiao long bao. lols. she says, "hello, i want to order." i was like, "can't this person wait." when i raised my head, i was so surprised. haha. another person who discover i am working there. upload photos next time! i am so lazy :p by right tomorrow i am starting at 1600 hours but i insist in going at 1500 hours. i wish bb darling good luck in his job evaluation! SHINE!

hais

2009-09-09T00:59:00.003+08:00

有时候太坚强, 笑容却填不满眼眶. 越是想要隐藏, 歌声就唱的更响亮. 直到入到心底最深处你不要追问我, 还缺了些什麽. 每个人都有梦, 幸福总站在最远方. 心中越是渴望, 越是不敢伸手拥抱. 我不是你想像那麽勇敢. 多想让你保护能流泪一场. 让我放下武装, 像个孩子一样单纯的把爱情放在你心上.

had love this song since so long ago. it actually says what i am feeling.. this song just keep playing on my mind..

in the midst of recovering. regained my appetite a bit. the box of straws dropped and hit my head. lols. i wonder if i will become more dumb =/ bb wanna kiss my wound that time. i used my head to actually block his head from reaching my hand. and he scold me stupid :( haha! now i tell the whole world this :p lols. okay lah. he dont mean it. he's just concerned whether i injured my head.

happy 21st birthday to my disciple! UNCLE GREEN TEA! called him uncle because he called me AUNTIE ANGIE. SHIT HIM.

many things going around my head. hais. i feel so confused, so vexed again. gonna work out my life soon since i am turning 21 soon. hais.

sick

2009-09-08T00:19:00.003+08:00

miss angie is sick again! :( well, i think my readers are sick and tired of this -.- anyway, cant help it but blog it here because it's the only way to make myself feel better. joshua told me that i might develop stomach ulcer or cancer if this goes on. i feel so scared and sad. hais. but i've promised my bb that i am going to the specialist after my birthday =x still remember how terrible it was last year and not forgetting everytime when the viral infection occurs again. last year just 3 days after my birthday, i was admitted to hospital.. hais. how unlucky. hope this year gets better!

angry with joshua. cos he told me this and i replied lol. you think i feel that it's funny? think again. who would be happy. he said, it's not funny. i replied straight cut. i know!

current situation, hardly ate anything cos i vomit and i had very watery stools. how yucky is that. i nearly faint today. so jialat.

reflections of miss angie

2009-09-05T00:40:00.003+08:00

let me talk about the video my baby and i made. haha. it all started with the bunny whom mr gaolin aka rei bought. we took photos of it and for no reason, we decided to make a video for the birthday boy too. well, it became a fact that we have got a flair in it and we got the chemistry in it. well, did my readers enjoy? hope so. it's my PH. well, i am known for storing my PH in the past at kbox. now? i have to clear it within a month. >_<" anyway, two weeks more, i am back to my old home. should i be happy or sad? i am used to working at feast and the people.. i had fun. i looked forward in my roundings between 1800 - 2000 hours because it will be the time i get to serve customers. and most importantly, i get to do desserts and make kopi & teh. (: to a lot of people, "wah~! work in kopitiam ah? why go there sia? so low class." but hell no. let me tell you, kopitiam may sound a bit old and traditional but it's definitely a big organisation for me to learn a lot of things. though i am afraid of troubleshoots and problems. but i can feel the satisfaction whenever i solved the problems of the tenants. well, today, i encountered someone who slot her card in the cash slot. =/ i start to have cold sweats because i still have a lot to learn. now, in a week, i learn a few new stuff again (: fulfilling. i learnt more about desserts. local desserts. in the past, i always learnt about western pastries and desserts like creme brulee and now? chendol, ice kachang etc! i was so excited everyday (: i guess, serving people are still my love. (: almost 4 years of passion in F&B industry. hope it goes on... but one day, people will grew tired. i hope, the fire in me doesnt extinguish. because, i've already gave up my initial dreams; being a chef and hotelier. people, you can question and even laugh and say i gave up easily. but as what i've said, i have my reason in everything and i made decisions wisely. so, dont jump to any conclusions and make any assumptions. as what i am still pursuing, i will at least stay in F&B for the time being. i am still trying to set up my online shop and of course, i have a goal in setting up a small business with my dear. and my last goal, for me and him to know, for you to find out (: everything should be on track but recently, some problems just surface.. i guess, i need to be stronger. in other way, i thank god for it.

would like to thank people who dropped by to feast / JP kopitiam. my da gui, er gui, huicheng, adeline mummie, rei, nicholas, joshua.. i am sorry if i missed out anyone. i have plans to study if i can handle financially in the future. i dont mind taking up a degree in kaplan / james cook university. it had been my dream too. of course, i dont mind le cordon bleu. well, dreamt about it but i am contented as long as i have got opportunity to study. i dont mind studying in e2i @ redhill. because it has got WSQ certificates and who knows i can improve from there? :D

i guess, these are the best gifts and end offs before i enter my adulthood officially. today was fulfilling with my darling. caught "i love you, beth cooper" with him and beth cooper is seriously hot. >_<

gonna date my gossip partners out soon. yes yes. ms juliana ng and mr bryan quek. because someone is gonna have her 21st birthday soon. and updates on one more thing! MISS ANGIE DID THE MOST IMPOSSIBLE THING IN LIFE. what what?

LEARN DIALECTS and THEIR SONGS

i once swore that i wont learn dialects because i dont know how. but now, baby motivated me to learn it! haha. he commented that i sound funny speaking dialects. lols. he recently then knew that i can sing malay songs :D but he says i sound equally funny :( ABANG SAYANG~ ABANG DI MANA~ lols.

my heart race whenever i see and get close to you. i wanted to see you so much each time and you appeared. your messages makes me feel so sweet. i never want to end this feeling~

gradually, recovering

2009-09-03T03:42:00.005+08:00

old old picture of me and boy (: it had been a full of injuries day. my knuckles were hurt by the wall. my left and right hand, elbow knocked against so many things =/ i got scalded by hot water and water vapours. ): AND THEN, i got disturbed.

am gradually recovering, getting used to it. guess i ought to grow up. this period had been extremely difficult for him and me. i have to be emotionally strong (which i am extremely weak at it) because situation needs me to do so =/ i feel like giving up but i cant. because i love my ebi fry so much. =p

caught final destination 4 with bb darling at gv marina. it suck because the 3D effect suck. haha. the movie was good but totally grossed with all the bloody scenes and pig livers :p haha. okays. not to the extend of pig livers. i had something in mind when i stepped out, "WHY ARE WE PAYING A BLOODY $10 TO SCARE OURSELVES OUT?!" that's ridiculous. but yet, i think the movie is good. =/

wasnt in my best of mood. starting to lost directions again. start to doubt my ability in kitchen. start to go below my expectations. well, the fault of two words in my life, expectations and perfections. he spent a whole lot of time advising me. haha. he's indeed a multi-role being in my life. =p that is why i love hm so much (:

37 days more, he will be going to beijing =/ worried for him yeah. and anyway, my plans for my 21st birthday will be as usual, LOW PROFILE. i am NOT GOING to throw a big bash for it. guess this had always been me. well, of course, i will have a dinner with my guigui family, my sister; JULIANA NG :p and BRYAN QUEK. not forgetting, huiyee. well, see first lah. as usual, work is the same but somehow, why does it get so enjoyable when i am leaving that place? well, long time since i got this feeling. the last time i enjoyed work was OCTOBER 2008 at kbox jurong. that was the place where i meet my boy (:

how can i not share a video of our creation? okay. i look ah lian and a bit plump. anyway, slimmed down a bit! I AM SO HAPPY (:

very down

2009-08-26T18:50:00.002+08:00

tears flowed uncontrollably for hours. nothing lessens how much i am missing him now. current situation, i cant explain at all. what i know is, route ahead will be tough but hope it will turn out as per planned. work is driving me crazy. how i wish i could just flush my phone down the toilet bowl. but if i do so, how does he contact me? yeah, people say we stick to each other as though we used superglue on it. well. what a way to describe it. how fuck. but whatever. it's my blog! anyway, nothing makes me happy at the moment. i just want him.. that's so simple.. hais.

if you think i only have him in my world, yes. i shut the whole world out. friends should understand that at this moment, i want to see nobody because i just want to be alone. dont like it? dont be a friend of mine then. because basic respect and courtesy is what you lack of.

2009-08-25T03:17:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM (:

that's all i want to say with my current feeling. my current feeling? :( HAIS....

life totally fucked up.

2009-08-22T01:10:00.003+08:00

current feeling, very lost, vexed and worried. i promised him something but i am worried. i am really upset. fucking work is freaking me out. met something which spoils my mood the whole day yesterday. realised my keyboard has got one button missing and they all know it but didnt tell me. tell me what should i do now? today had been a happy day. we went pastamania. we went for movies. we went for arcade. we went for shaker fries. we actually did much more things today. why all these shits are happening? his phone's battery is flat. i am worried. i am very worried. i start to hate my life again. why are these happening? hais.

:(

2009-08-02T03:23:00.001+08:00

oh dear. miss angie is very upset with life again. save me.

off day (:

2009-07-31T03:27:00.002+08:00

happy moments passed very quickly. tomorrow my last training day at JP le. will be shuffled to JP2. after that? i dont know the arrangements. maybe i will be shuffled again. well, starting to grow up a bit le. starting to make plans for future. starting to be organised again. in the past, miss angie used to plan and plan. found some old photos. oh dear. ugly ugly me. i looked so tomboy-ish in the past. haha. how did i spent my off day? basically, just doing some shopping chores and gather a bit with chicken overfold. :p there's a reason why i named someone as chicken overfold. anyway, bought two pairs of court shoes for work. it shucks. it cost me a total of nearly 80 bucks. my dear darling brought me to mum mum nice food and we saw duck aka ivan :p glad to see him happier now (:

had long chats with dear darling again. oh. why does off day passed so fast? ): got a lot of good stuff to show him tomorrow. cant wait to see him again! (: sleeping soon. got to jiayou! anyway, miss angie didnt realise that next week is national day! oh! public holiday and YET I AM WORKING =/ like kbox. D&D next saturday. will i be working or taking part? hais. unknown.

off to my beauty dreams! nights to all.

mundane

2009-07-30T03:18:00.003+08:00

stone. it's finally my off day and yet i still have so many things to do! i have nothing to blog about my work basically. cos it's rather mundane. all about counting money and some troubleshootings. cant say it's mundane because it is full of challenges and unknown problems. my 6th day and i thank god for not giving me too much problems. basically, i saw a lot of familiar faces! like my dear sister, jerine. used to be my gossip partner in school. miss her damn loads.

dont know what to blog. so sian. - .- hais. work is rather something like building up my career liao. angie needs to grow up. i will undergo some changes in october! wahaha! i currently still enjoy my job lah. (: lastly, glad that i didnt lose a friend which i nearly lost.

distance: a word but speaks a lot

2009-07-29T02:40:00.002+08:00

5th month le.. yeap. havent been updating you guys. yeah. after resigning from the job i had been holding on for 3-1/2 years, i finally found a new job and i am building up my career now! stress from the job is like mountains but the shift makes my life so mundane that i hardly get to spend a lot of time with him. it makes me feel extremely sad because it was our 5th month yesterday but it felt like nothing. i was down because i rushed myself too much. why am i forcing myself in picking up things at such a fast pace? i asked myself. what i need now is rest though i will be working 12 hours later. well. i am down now. because i feel the distance again.

angie gigi (:

2009-07-19T01:36:00.010+08:00

14 JULY 2009, TUESDAY

SINGAPORE SCIENCE CENTRE :D

yeah, updates on that day (: my dear boy had been saying someday he will bring me to science centre and WE DID IT ON 140709! (: the sweetheart and i felt like two little kids entering there but we gave da vinci code's exhibition a miss. what can we do when we go there? miss angie says, "press buttons lor." lols. it was amazing how much science centre had changed and guess what? think the last time i was there was primary four. that was like, 11 years ago! i dont remember going there during secondary school days =x greeted by a stupid dinosaur which we named it as "walnut" whenever we see dinosaurs. why do we name it as walnut? well, if you watched "land of the lost" before, you should know that the doctor / professor had say the dinosaur's brain is the size of walnut. haha. look what we did to walnut. wahaha!

as we explored the science centre, look at this.

i realised a lot of sections have this coin throwing thingy and it says the coins aren't retrieveable as it will be donated to special school. well, this example above is using the coins to "vote" like how you think about yourself. conclusion? age 13 - 20 years old tends to be more naive. look at the amount of coins! age 12 years and below arent as much it's because we do not have a lot of pocket money for god's sake! well, for 21 years old and above, obviously, we are no longer that naive and duh! it's not because 21 years and above dont visit science centre! in fact, on that day, i saw quite a lot of adults there!

look at my wonderful darling. he's so powerful. lols.

_____________________________________________

what's for today (18 JULY 2009), SATURDAY?

KYUSHU NIHON AYORI for dinner at HONG LEONG GARDEN SHOPPING CENTRE !

haha. today basically was not a very good day for me. had been unwell for so many days. thanks to my narrow airway. i hate it so much! well, my dear darling brought me there after mentioning it to me a few times. the food was uber good! i swear the japanese food is authentic! please dont go to the wrong one! it's actually the first one on your right if you are facing the shop houses. it has got the big red lanterns. you can really see japanese hanging around there for their home taste. we were too hungry and we've only got two pictures for the teriyaki chicken set he ordered. well, the taste of the teriyaki chicken was fantastic! what i had normally outside was teriyaki sauce to be thick and sweet.

frankly speaking, i am not a fan of teriyaki chicken. but this teriyaki chicken made me crave for more because, 1) the sauce was not that sweet and thick & 2) the sauce goes extremely well with the chicken cos it retains the freshness of the chicken. the rice was nice unlike what you ate outside; sticky and too cooked. the one here was just nice! (: the sushi looks very appetizing and fresh there.

last but not least, maybe i was a country pumpkin. the WATERMELON served was huge. go around and see, who in the industry give such a huge and thick slice of watermelon? okays, i think i am too excited about the watermelon. well, again, i took down the picture of the nice plate there. i just love these items so much. that is the reason why for internship, i chose PKH; i get to deal with different kinds of cutleries, glasswares etc..

darling had been such a sweet. i know i had mentioned it umpteen times in this blog. he made me so happy today by telling me something. for me to know, for you to find out (:

suddenly found this picture in my album.

PRESENTING! THE FILRTHY RICH BOSS A.K.A LIM HUI CHENG; used to be one of the best working partner other than VAYEN BOO XIANG KAI! (:

OPPS darling. i dont meant to take your picture from your facebook. i just heart you (:

missy me.

2009-07-17T02:25:00.004+08:00

highly motivated to do something but why must there be someone who always pour a cold bucket of water on me? plans withdrawn. angie, please be patient. 1) i have to do a lot of planning for my dear's business, as i've promised. 2) i have to start planning for some feasible F&B business plans. 3) i've got to start thinking how am i going to spend my 21st birthday. 4) i've got to answer my dear sister what kind of blogshop we are setting up as we had been talking about it for a long time like years back. 5) my sister (real blood sister) wants to do online business with me. ponders*

i am feeling so grey now. i needed my dear a lot. but he's sleeping now. i dont want him to worry. during these period, so many things had been bothering me. new job. family matters and even financial matters for next month now. i swear next month i will be very broke. no much income =x i hate this man. but things should be improving in september. by then, i dont have to worry.

recently, old ailment haunting me. perhaps weather is a bit cold and i had been drinking cold drinks. my airway is narrow and yet i had been making it narrower by doing all these. what the fuck. i am gasping for more air by yawning. :(

dear boy, i miss you so much right now, 0236hours.

but there are stuff which made my day (: the moment i saw him, i beamed :D he was so nice and suggest we shall go kite flying some day. he had fulfilled his promise by bringing me to science centre (: he had been such a sweet recently and he wants to feed me till i become a pig =x NO! he never say i was fat though i am =/ boyfriend had been very sensitive to my feeling and had been taking good care of me. he made good honey for me when i was having a sore throat. he actually introduces me to his friends and try to overcome my phobias with me. though learning it in a hard way, now i deeply appreciate it. frankly speaking, i had made him very angry because i was too much of an introvert at times. LONG TIME FRIENDS, I WAS AN INTROVERT RIGHT? juliana, my dear sister can vouch for me. it's kbox which changed me. how dumb of me to actually argue with him for not telling me that he's bringing me to meet his friends. =/ dear boy just know me quite well. i should be happy that he is doing this. he is putting so much effort in the relationship by making me feel comfortable. i should feel blessed. never been in this kind of feeling before.

yeah yeah. i know there's something call space for friends. of course i am not forgetting. missing him so much again. yah lah. i know. some will say, "wah, so sweet hor.", others will say, "wah lao, you spend a lot of time with your boyfriend hor." if not, "wah lao, your whole blog is only about your boyfriend hor." lols. whatever. as long as miss angie is happy. 0314hours, i love you truck loads.

time heals

2009-07-16T02:09:00.002+08:00

how happy am i? i start to ponder over this question for long. actually, humans generally can be happy and contented if they are more forgiving and wise. most importantly, the perspective on different matters. currently, i am not very happy with my life. seriously, even if things could perk me up a little, it will be temporary.. i fucking hate this kind of miss angie.

these two days had been (: been some time since i get to really enjoy and indulge in something i had been wanting to do. yesterday, my dear boy and i went to science centre. gave the da vinci code exhibition a miss. and today, caught ice age 3 with him at the cathay. more updates up soon. lazy to update yeah.

give me time. it will heal.

stepping towards a new life (:

2009-07-11T15:08:00.005+08:00

a big big HELLO to all of you (: miss angie has become a part of history of kbox! still dont get what i meant? from 8 july 2009, i am officially an ex-staff of kbox. lols. yeah, for those who had been asking me to leave, yeah, good news to all of you! well, had been rendering my service there for 3-1/2 years + 3 days. wahaha. time to leave i guess. a big decision in my life. well, there's going to be a big change in my life very fast. yeah, hope everything goes well and i will be able to work in the establishment i wanted to! i hope it goes very well for me! of course, i can foresee the stress load i will undertake but challenges in life are inevitable isnt it? if i dont take up the challenge, i will never see myself growing up. i supposed i will be a step closer to my goals (:

if you ask, do i miss kbox? yeah, i do. but i ought to move on, ought to be realistic and stop being in the dreams. yeah, the happiest time i had goes to the days back in kbox jurong. the place i had been since 5 jan 2006 - 20 oct 2008. during the time in jurong, i had moved to few outlets but nothing can replace the home in my heart. i seriously treat kbox jec as my second home. since 21 oct 2008 - 21 may 2009, i moved on to kbox clementi and found some of my close ones there. found some new friends too which i really cherished but then, i moved on to my new outlet, supposing my new home, kbox jurong safra. 22 may 2009 - 8 july 2009. length of service is getting shorter and shorter. i no doubt know a lot of wonderful friends at jurong safra.

there are too many reasons for me to leave.. i hope i will not be a fool to turn back and since i've made the decision, i shall be firm with it.

not having much plans in furthering studies actually. shall see yeah? there are a lot of opportunities. yeah, i missed a great deal of opportunities. what the fuck. luckily, miss angie woke up and moved on.

the gift kbox gave me? cuts from glasses and tattoos from people. lols. and till now, it had been almost a week, my wounds are still not fully recovered. and before my last few days of work, i was down with my as usual viral flu. lols. shall use this time to actually do a lot of things which i had not complete. and oh yeah, i am thankful that during the last second day of my service at kbox, i get to do the very last time of my bartendering there. ta-dah! oreo chocy delights i did (: lols. it's drinkable okay and too bad the flash of my camera had make it less appealing =x and the last one, the coco freeze i did at kbox jurong entertainment! (:

PS* bartendering is still my love throughout these years (: and of course, i heart my charming dearest loads (:

):

2009-07-04T17:02:00.001+08:00

lost. ): hais. i need baby boy. i need him. ): seriously.

lost

2009-07-04T10:04:00.002+08:00

some things are beyond my control, beyond hope. i hate to mention that word again, ~~disappointed~~. ohmygod. i am turning 21 in like 3+ months. should i be excited? i am expecting someone to be back this september. will she be back to have a reunion with us? i dont know. hope so. it's been years, like 4+ years since i saw her?

get some things out of my mind too. this is simply too much for a going-to-be-21-years-old lady.

doctor slapped me with another day of MC. total 2 days. i should be able to get back to work tomorrow.

drag me out

2009-07-03T15:10:00.002+08:00

i think i should be happy that i've made a right decision. 5 days till the end of my journey in kbox officially. get what i mean people? i am finally leaving. guess, things had gone beyond my limitations. guess, it's just not worth, guess it's time i get on to the right track of my life. yeah. be it i am starting a new journey immediately or i will be taking a short break, it's worth. at least, i got out of the place i am starting to grew very tired of. how selfish they are to do this to each other. i fucking despise them to the max. disappointment is what i've got in my mind. used to get very excited about going there. but now, i am tired, i am sick of that life and it's not worth to be in a place where you are not appreciated. one more thing, about morale. dont be a fucking ass in bringing people's morale down.

life havent been good for me. as usual, some family matters. ebi fry is seriously sick. had been so down. but who the hell understands? have you ever faced such situation: 1) serious family matters, 2) someone who matters a lot to you was sick, 3) you, yourself was sick for the past months, 4) you facing fucking series of problems at work, 5) you facing a decision whether to leave a place where you grew up and you had been with for the past 3 and a half years.. all these fucking problems, have anyone been in my shoes? some could just say, " i am moodless, i have no mood to work." or they can just be so emotional throughout the work. what the fuck is all these shit? c'mon lah. these few days, i am fucking down and i had been crying almost everyday. do i really do these to you people? problem is, i didnt. stop all these nonsense.. anyway, it doesnt matter. because, i am leaving.

and for the time being, i just wish to be alone.. i will be okay. just get me out of that place..

life sucks

2009-06-29T18:58:00.002+08:00

sometimes i just a life out there, a work which i really enjoy, a life which i am comfortable with. maybe, i miss school days somehow. yeah, what is the aim of life now? obviously money for survival but one of my aim will be to learn new skills and explore this world. sounds a bit old yeah? i just wish things could change and my life to be with more colors. i hate my life now simply because of the fatigueness and how i dislike my life now. i want a new job, i want my dreams, i wish to study. what am i thinking of? sucks. it seems that i feel so lonely, i feel so tired. tired of reprimanding, tired of commanding, tired of people who dont appreciates, tired of people who brings morale down. fuck.

mundane life.

2009-06-23T01:30:00.003+08:00

a lot of things had been going through my mind non stop. fatigueness is killing me and here i am, still at the same old place which i had been with for the past 3 plus years. ought to move on. work is mundane and a lot of things are giving me reasons to leave.. anyway, am tired of my life. i seriously need a break.

had i been happy? perhaps. like i said, work used to give me a lot of satisfaction. i feel the same now but i no longer feel as much. thursday will be the day i had been waiting for since a long time back. the last time i stepped into the bar as a bartender is at clementi. this thursday, i am on my own at safra jurong as a bartender or rather, bar maid. lols.

recently, rather bad-tempered and i havent been feeling well. remember during may, i was down with gastric flu and had days of MC? well, since then, my body had been giving me problems and till now, YES, till now, it's still the same. my anaemic problem is still the same and everyday when i get up, my head spins like hell and i feel like banging my head against the wall.

and what the fuck. i became a "spokesperson" for the ISO wipe for kbox. some people will get very excited but unfortunately i am not. i said, "what the fuck" immediately. lols.

okay lah. enough of that. rather busy with loads of stuff. low maintenance / no maintenance of my blog at all. apologies for that. with loads of love till the next (: wish me lucks in moving on. PLEASE. I JUST WANT TO GET OUT. GOD!

rather be brainwashed.

2009-06-17T18:41:00.002+08:00

heavy heart. too much of a coincidence. now then i know the world is so small. well, dont know what i am talking about? doesnt matter. i need a lot of assurance, security.. but why am i feeling alone at this moment? it sucks. who will truly understand how much unhappiness i am going through now? anyone in life can say how sucked your life is.. but who will really understand my situation? god, kindly brainwash me.

honey honey (:

2009-06-10T21:32:00.002+08:00

hello people! (: sorry for my short disappearance. :p currently, i am motivated to actually make the place i am with currently alive again (: okay la. i shall not be lazy and i will update my blog soon okay!

PS* i miss honey pot.

:(

2009-05-27T01:01:00.001+08:00

somehow, nothing can describe how i felt currently, YET AGAIN. i am just like a kid, separated from family. anyway, i can only say, i am plain lazy and fatigue to upload any photos. and yeah, i am still doing alright only. perhaps just one word, disappointment.

心里万分的舍不得

2009-05-21T18:23:00.004+08:00

nothing can describe how i am feeling currently.. 18th - 21st of may 2009. there goes my leave.. what happened these few days? cooked for my dear ebi fry (: to summarize, we went for place hunting at chinatown today! imagine him from redhill to ang mo kio then to chinatown. so fulfilling actually (: gonna visit the sia huat showroom with him someday (:

next on the list, graduation ceremony. yeah, ebi fry and uncle rei accompanied me down. met winnie before that and went sugarloaf to have our lunch! proceed on to the ceremony fast and yeah! pictures up next week when i get my pictures from ebi fry okay! memories kept in heart.. had a small gathering back in TCA with instructors.. ought to really thank them for grooming ANGIE VOON for who she is today. yeah, angie voon is a brand new person from angeline voon.. (: met up with ashley and went down to suntec.. first stop was oosters, our favorite hangout. people changed a bit but still, i saw familiar faces (: had my usual stella artois which i think is the best for me (: in the end, it got me high a bit and perhaps due to my mood.

just got the news not long ago that oh man.. angie voon is transferred to jurong safra tomorrow. i knew about the transfer thingy like days ago only. kind of last minute.. i had no preparation at all. i only know i am working 1400 hours to 2200 hours tomorrow. i have a lot of things to say to my clementi peeps.. i have to admit i was unhappy.. but i am gradually finding back the feeling of home... and yet, i was told or rather i got to know about my transfer on saturday.. sunday was my last day of work at clementi..

let me take a few moment to say some things to a couple of peeps here yeah? samantha darling - my dear.. you had always been there to advice me, to support me, to listen to my rants.. it was affinity that brought us back to clementi and yet i am leaving now.. you know what? the person i miss the most will definitely be you.. and yet, the person i worried the most will also be you.. promise me to take good care of yourself hao ma?

jing hui, green tea - disciple.. i am handling you over to puppy and stanley's care.. you are really good, capable. i have never regret taking you up as my disciple at kbox.. please do your best there!

stanley ah gong - ah gong, known you for quite a number of years. hais. yet again, i am separated from you again.. i am grateful that you provided me with endless opportunities to be a floor in charge.. even when i go over, i wont forget what you have taught.. i wont let you down..

zhenghua - jiemei, please take care of yourself and fight for yourself ok! (if you think it's right lah) i never have the chance to cook together with you in the small small bar le.. ): but i will miss you guys!

haha. i always get to cook a lot of stuff there.. i miss the times now.. it was so enjoyable.. to those who had looked down on me, thanks.. to those who had been supporting me.. i love you guys..

cant helped but to drop tears.. anyway, guess what it is below?

haha. it's coffee float.. (:

and. a cake, ebi fry and me designed for uncle rei..

how well do you know me? (part I)

2009-05-13T15:13:00.003+08:00

1) When is my birthday?
a) 17 September 1988
b) 17 September 1989
c) 21 October 1988
d)17 October 1988
e) 23 October 1989

2) What is my favorite color?

a) Black
b) Pink
c) Blue
d) White
e) Purple

3) Do you know my field of interest? (field of interest and passion is different)

a) Hospitality and Tourism
b) Culinary
c) Social Science
d) Business Law
e) Chemical Engineering

4) Which school did I just graduated from?

a) Shatec
b) Ngee Ann Polytechnic
c) Singapore Polytechnic
d) Temasek Polytechnic
e) Nanyang Polytechnic

5) Which cuisine do I love most?

a) Japanese
b) Western
c) Thai
d) Chinese
e) Malay

6) Which is my favorite activity? (got two actually :p)

a) Reading Books in Library
b) Singing
c) Swimming
d) Window Shopping

7) Which part of the kitchen do I enjoy being in the most?

a) Asian Kitchen
b) Baking and Pastry
c) Western Kitchen

how well do you know me? (Part II)

2009-05-13T14:45:00.002+08:00

1) Which body part of mine would I like to get a tattoo on?

a) Hand
b) Ankle
c) Lower Back
d) Arm
e) Neck

2) How many piercings do I have now?

a) 1
b) 2
c) 3
d) 4
e) 5

3) What is the drink I must have to keep me awake?

a) Orange Juice
b) Coke
c) Coffee
d) Lemon Tea
e) Red Bull

4) Which is my favorite flavor of ice cream?

a) Chocolate Chip
b) Sweet Corn
c) Yam
d) Vanilla
e) Strawberry

5) Do I like cakes and sweet stuff?

a) Yes
) No

6) Do I like spicy and hot stuff?

a) Yes
b) No

7) Which will be my first choice if I were to eat out in a Western Restaurant?

a) Pasta
b) Salad
c) Sandwiches
d) Main Courses like Fish, Poultry etc

8) When visiting a Japanese Restaurant, what is a must have for me?

a) Chawanmushi
b) Tako Yaki
c) Gyoza
d) Soba
e) Unagi

memories

2009-05-13T13:10:00.002+08:00

WAH LAO. should i LOVE OR HATE my mouth? before i send an sms to a contest for a pair of contact lens, i told ebi fry and uncle rei, "if i win this contact lens, i will wear it!". but that time, i was thinking, "aiyah.. this wont happen on me. confirm wont win one lor." kaos. i just received an sms telling me i've won it. kaos. now, i am happily blogging at kbox clementi live. wahaha. looked at jurong entertainment kbox group. i really is LOL. they posted up some videos and i keep on appearing on one of the videos. i was like, eh.. how come in the past i smile and laugh non stop like siao char bor.. -.-" okay lah. there's a difference between now and the past. now i still smile but i SHINE a lot. lols. dont get what i mean? wahaha. i always go around, put my hands by my waist and i say, "SHINE!" wahahah.

next week, anticipating graduation ceremony. wahaha. take care people!

random

2009-05-06T17:44:00.002+08:00

random thoughts..

in a relationship, it's takes two hands to clap, to love.. treasure the times now and never think how it will end.. if you had never trust your other half from the start, no matter how hard he or she tries to explain, things will never get right.. enjoy the process of love.. share the joy, woes.. being suspicious is the path towards ending everything.. i used to take too much thing in heart.. i asked myself.. how much can i take it? if you love the person, go for it.. dont be afraid.. if you are, dont love.. if he or she is meant to be yours, he or she will be yours eventually. go for it and do not regret.. if you dont, you will regret.. i used to avoid.. why should i avoid since i have the opportunity to hold it?

if you give a promise, say it and mean it. no one likes unfulfilled promises.. whatever past mistakes made, do not carry forward to your next relationship.. tell yourself, you will be a better man / woman.. love and dont regret.. learn from your every relationship.. if a relationship comes to an end, end it beautifully. thank each other for the learning points. (but sad to say, out of 100 couples, perhaps, only a couple can do it).

am not emo.. while someone is anticipating the end of my current relationship, i shall write down some thoughts and share it with readers here. i already say, before someone interfere my life, look at your life before commenting on mine negatively. i am referring to someone, one only.. not my readers here. but who knows she might read my blog too since she can read my messages and diary? doesnt matter. take it as i am petty or what. i am not going to compromise after all the years of shit. and it's my problem.. no one is to comment whether i did it right or wrong. if i dont retaliate, i am ill treating myself.. i will be appease soon! (: i still smile and laugh. i dont even bother because my mum understands what i am doing, at least.. back to work tomorrow after so many days of MC!

what a disappointment in life

2009-05-06T02:49:00.002+08:00

this isnt the first time i am blogging about her.. in fact, i dont even name her as a ~~sister~~, at least, now. fuck. she finally admit that she reads my personal diary which is meant for him, and she reads my handphone messages. hoho. i knew it.. yup.. she's crazy. someone gave a casual remark saying she's crazy and she got so fed up. well, she said i am helping the outsider. whatever. i drew the line since she wants it. and she wanted mum to stand by her side and she wants mum to scold me too. but when you know mum wants you to stop all these things, you became so angry and you scolded me even more.

you said one day, i will wake up from the dream, say i am blinded by love. come on. i used to hang out till late. and so what if i really changed? does it matter now? any consequences, i will bear. and, you think you always made the right decision in life? you are utterly wrong. if you are really so smart, then you wouldnt have made so many wrong choices. dont always judge people on the cover. i admit i used to cover up for ziyang. but so what? that's my problem. at least, i know what i am doing and i am like you when you are young. trying to control me? please, i wont appreciate you. i've had enough for so many years. from the start, you are wrong. you are wrong to check my handphone messages and even see my personal stuff. dont tell me you are being concern lah. i dont regard you as a sister. you cant even handle your stuff properly. how can you handle mine? you said you will wait and see when i will broke up with shawn. so what? and you said i keep on shielding him. it's the fact i feel so vexed when i come home. quarrels, shoutings and cryings. arent anyone here tired of all these? i didnt shield him by saying i myself wants to be home late.. well, dont blame me for sms-ing brother because i had enough of shits from you. you better keep your words by not bothering about me. mum was being concerned and asked about me. what's your problem now? in the end, you are just like a fly to me cos i dont even care about you.

you all can say i wrote all these out of impulsiveness. but i am not. i had enough and if she wants to come here and read, be my guest. i am not afraid. sisters? funny. since young, you had never like me as your sister. if you want to complain to your husband, go ahead. stop being so paranoid. stop going around to quarrel and have arguments with people. is your life meant to be like this? i think so. i looked forward to the day when you moved out of this house. i will enjoy peace and will be able to go home early.

bitch..

random

2009-05-05T16:45:00.003+08:00

supposed to work today.. still not feeling well and my face looks very pale. and so, slapped with one more day of MC. bad days.. made up my mind in something.. shall reveal it to you guys some other day.. well, see someone's tag, i feel so :D cos it's been a long time since he tagged on my tagboard le. hmm, wonder what he is doing now.. :S misses.. feeling down..

sick

2009-05-04T19:41:00.002+08:00

once again, miss angie is down with stomach flu ): suay suay suay. how come i have to kena it like at least twice a year? this is the second time of the year within these 5 months.. that sucks. fever up till 38.4 and the doctor went on nagging and nagging. lols. slept at home the whole day yesterday. even had to crawl to see a doctor yesterday. slapped with 2 days MC. he said i will get well within 3 - 4 days. hopefully. currently, fever, flu, cough.. :( take care people..

random

2009-05-01T22:58:00.006+08:00

it's may! oh my. labour day and yet i am working on this day. alrights. no complain. expected it. it was crazy and the day passed real quick. gastric problems are so serious. problems are still piling up. blogging live at jurong point coffeebean!

as promised, some pictures to share (: the ice cream which looks like muffins :p and the house which ebi fry and i colored :p lastly, the shopping centre which i actually owned. look at those words which has got lights on. UR NG POINT. haha. people call me angie now and not angeline. and ANGIE is pronounced as N-G. i know it's lame. but just some interesting facts yeah?

wah lao. TP eat my money. i didnt know i must rent my graduation attire in advance and i asked for delivery cos i cant make it for deadline of collection tomorrow. AND I BLOODY PAID $60 plus for it. haha. long weekend. end off with a note.. "maybe the only way you thought to repay your love is to be with you. but i beg to differ. i appreciate everything you have done throughout these 7 years. it's true that you do care.. but, please understand and respect my decision"

love this guy below loads..